Hold the phone yo. There are things we're NOT supposed to do?!?!
Who knew!
Well I know you're not supposed to do things that are detrimental to your health, like smoking or drinking excessively. Welcome to college.
You shouldn't have unprotected sex. Uhm yeah... well I don't know what to say about that expect that it's true. You should avoid unprotected sex. Yeah.
You're not supposed to drive under the influenceof anything besides oxygen, good old H20, or anything else any decent human being would allow to pass through their body. All I can say is sometimes you need to relax, and then sometimes you need to drive home. HOWEVER, there always has to be a limit. If you can't find your keys because you're seeing 6 of them, DON'T DRIVE.
I've clearly done a lot of things you're not supposed to do. But those things are just common knowledge I guess. My folks never sat me down as a wee pup and said to me "One day you'll be tempted to get sloshed, have unprotected sex with everything in sight, and proceed to drive home. At that point in time you should remember this lesson and know GOD IS WATCHING."
I kind of wish they had that discussion with me, my life would be SO much more interesting. Therapists would love me.
In any event, I know you shouldn't do those things and I try to avoid them as much as possible.
My mother doesn't make a habit out of telling me what not to do.
So this evening when we were talking about this girl one of her coworkers is interested in I was taken aback by a comment she made. She asked me what I thought about the girl and I responded with "she's not my type." Her response "You're not supposed to, she's a girl."
I sat there for a minute, thinking about what just transpired. It never occurred to me that she might not be okay with my interest in women. Well, I guess it did, and that's probably the reason why I didn't tell her. I chaulked it all up to I really didn't and don't want to have to get into the private details of my sex life with her when I do come out to her, so I'd prefer to wait.
But wow, I'm not SUPPOSED to like girls? Who said that?? The entire conservative contingency of the United States? Well fuck that, I'm like whoever I damn well please, I'll love whoever I damn well please. Hell I'll even sleep with whoever I damn well please and it's nobody's fucking business besides mine and whoever I am liking/loving/screwing.
I don't know... it's just so weird. I had no idea I was expected to like someone else... it's just too weird for words. I've dated guys, I've screwed guys, I've pretty much done all there is to do with the male specie besides marriage and child rearing. News to the flash yo: same sex couples can marry and rear children now too! I don't need some punk who thinks he knows what I want screwing around with me when he has absolutely no clue what he is doing. And guys are so hairy and yucky and gross... with their big hands and weird faces and lack of comfy boobs. Guys are just abnormal. And penises... don't even get me started. ICK!
Girls are weird, I won't lie. But guys are WAY weirder, and weirder in a different way entirely. But girls are so soft... and beautiful and gentle. There's nothing like a nice girl to come home to at the end of a long day to make you thankful you're a "cahpet muncha."
So I'm going to rearrange my mom's words, and her thoughts, to fit the way things should be said.
Me "she's not my type"
Madre "Hmmm, so what is your type, m'dear?"
It's time like these that I ask myself... WWJCD? What Would June Clever Do?
If the Beave wanted to get it on with one of the boys from the football team, wouldn't June just say "Oh Beaver, it's okay, Ward and I will love you forever. Here's a condom."? I think so.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
We've Got Pride, Yes We do, We've Got Pride, How 'Bout You??
June is a GREAT month, in many many ways.
Well, first and foremost, and of uptmost importance to everyone on the planet, June is the month of my birth. Back in 1989 in a log cabin in Hartford, Connecticut two people welcomed into their lives a baby girl who would one day grow to rule the world.
Well, that's the plan anyway. Until then, I was just born in June. Most of us are born and therefore have birth months, June just happens to be mine.
June is also the first full month of summer for those of us who are going to a form of school in the United States (I'm not sure about the rest of the world). The kids are just getting out of school in the lower grades, and us big scary college kids have been out since May, some since April. June is also the first month of summer, when things start heating up, pools are opened, people start leaving their homes and going for walks and having camp fires in their back yards.
June is my favorite month for all these reasons, but also because it happes to be pride month.
I'm proud to say that I've been out and proud for almost a year now (to everyone except my family, but I'm definetly not hiding anything from them).
I remember the first person I came out to, and I remember it happening like it was just yesterday. When the words "I'm gay" slip out of your mouth it's like this enormous weight being lifted off your shoulders. After you tell one person you just want to run around shouting it from the roof tops. I was very hesitant about coming out to other people. I had no idea how they would react, and for a while it was a secret shared between one of my best friends and I.
And then he told another one of my best friends. I got a text message from her late at night, after I had texted her saying I wouldn't be able to hang out. Her text read (and I saved it): "Oh no! :( well then I can tell you that I don't care if you're a lesbian! *hugs*" I turned bright red, because I knew I had been outed, and then I felt a huge sigh of relief, because being outed and it turning out for the best is SUCH a relief.
So at that point in time two of my very best friends knew, and it was hard for them to keep it to themselves because we have a very close knit group of friends who we share everything with. Keeping secrets isn't our style. I went through the rest of the summer between high school and college with a few people knowing, but most importantly with ME knowing. Being sure of something is such a powerful feeling. You feel like you really can do anything when you're absolutely positive.
When I got to college I knew it was going to be a lot harder to pretend to be someone I am not. I made good friends with a group of girls who were completely boy crazy, who talked about nothing else, and therefore drove me insane.
So I drifted from them and discovered a friend of mine, Mark, who became probably my best friend at school. I told Mark, and I also told him that I had a HUGE crush on a friend of ours. Huge. Epic. Head over heels.
Mark was the perfect person for me to tell because he knew it was important, and he also knew I needed to come out because it was hurting me more than it was hurting anyone else.
Prior to telling Mark, I had been living like your average drunken college freshmen. I made two very big mistakes early in the year that could have turned out a lot worse than they did but that definetly helped me grow as a person. Needless to say I was completely sure about my sexuality by the end of the first semester.
Finally Mark decided enough was enough when I ended up crying one night after lying to someone about my sexuality (there was a survey for a sociology class and it asked about sexual orientation and I totally lied). I needed to come out for my own peace of mind.
I started telling all of my friends. Most of them weren't surprised, and they were all VERY supportive and really it didn't change our relationship at all. They were all very supportive when I got a girlfriend. They were even more supportive when I broke up with her because the relationship was not healthy at all. I'm afraid if I had let it go on any longer my friends would have abandoned me, or kicked my ass for dating someone who was not good for me at all. I love my friends very much, and am adamant about the fact that friends, at least at this point in life, are FAR more important than women. Girls will come and go but friends are forever.
I told my best friend over winter break. She was COMPLETELY blown away. Completely. Like the thought never even crossed her mind that I might not like guys. I have dated a lot of guys. Between 7 and 10th grade I was never without a boyfriend. My last two years in high school consisted of me trying desperately to cling to heterosexuality, and also working through some other issues that needed to be worked out.
The conversation between my best friend and I went something like this. My friend (the first person I ever told) outed me again. This time, my best friend really did not believe him, but she played along like she did.
"So does your mom know that you're gay?"
"Actually, no, she doesn't"
"Hah!"
"I'm serious"
"What? No you're not."
"Yes I am, I am gay, and my mother does not know."
"What? No. Really? No. What? You're joking. Are you serious?"
"Yes."
"OH MY GOSH THAT'S SO COOL!"
And that's how my best friend found out. Our relationship has only gotten better since then.
So I don't hide it from anyone anymore. I'm out on campus, I'm out to my lacrosse team, I'm out to all of my friends. I love being out, and I'm SO proud of the gay community for all of the strides they have made in the recent past that has made it comfortable for my generation to come out and be proud.
I'm very fortunate to live in a part of the world where it's not the end of the world if you are gay. I'm fortunate that I didn't attend a body of religion from the time that I was very young that told me that straight is the only way and anything else is a terrible, hell-bound sin.
I'm proud of who I am. I'm proud of myself for coming out. I wouldn't change a thing about me or about anyone. Gay or straight, we're all God's children. God creates in His image, and what better image than the image of Love.
God bless and have a WONDERFUL Pride Month!!!!
Well, first and foremost, and of uptmost importance to everyone on the planet, June is the month of my birth. Back in 1989 in a log cabin in Hartford, Connecticut two people welcomed into their lives a baby girl who would one day grow to rule the world.
Well, that's the plan anyway. Until then, I was just born in June. Most of us are born and therefore have birth months, June just happens to be mine.
June is also the first full month of summer for those of us who are going to a form of school in the United States (I'm not sure about the rest of the world). The kids are just getting out of school in the lower grades, and us big scary college kids have been out since May, some since April. June is also the first month of summer, when things start heating up, pools are opened, people start leaving their homes and going for walks and having camp fires in their back yards.
June is my favorite month for all these reasons, but also because it happes to be pride month.
I'm proud to say that I've been out and proud for almost a year now (to everyone except my family, but I'm definetly not hiding anything from them).
I remember the first person I came out to, and I remember it happening like it was just yesterday. When the words "I'm gay" slip out of your mouth it's like this enormous weight being lifted off your shoulders. After you tell one person you just want to run around shouting it from the roof tops. I was very hesitant about coming out to other people. I had no idea how they would react, and for a while it was a secret shared between one of my best friends and I.
And then he told another one of my best friends. I got a text message from her late at night, after I had texted her saying I wouldn't be able to hang out. Her text read (and I saved it): "Oh no! :( well then I can tell you that I don't care if you're a lesbian! *hugs*" I turned bright red, because I knew I had been outed, and then I felt a huge sigh of relief, because being outed and it turning out for the best is SUCH a relief.
So at that point in time two of my very best friends knew, and it was hard for them to keep it to themselves because we have a very close knit group of friends who we share everything with. Keeping secrets isn't our style. I went through the rest of the summer between high school and college with a few people knowing, but most importantly with ME knowing. Being sure of something is such a powerful feeling. You feel like you really can do anything when you're absolutely positive.
When I got to college I knew it was going to be a lot harder to pretend to be someone I am not. I made good friends with a group of girls who were completely boy crazy, who talked about nothing else, and therefore drove me insane.
So I drifted from them and discovered a friend of mine, Mark, who became probably my best friend at school. I told Mark, and I also told him that I had a HUGE crush on a friend of ours. Huge. Epic. Head over heels.
Mark was the perfect person for me to tell because he knew it was important, and he also knew I needed to come out because it was hurting me more than it was hurting anyone else.
Prior to telling Mark, I had been living like your average drunken college freshmen. I made two very big mistakes early in the year that could have turned out a lot worse than they did but that definetly helped me grow as a person. Needless to say I was completely sure about my sexuality by the end of the first semester.
Finally Mark decided enough was enough when I ended up crying one night after lying to someone about my sexuality (there was a survey for a sociology class and it asked about sexual orientation and I totally lied). I needed to come out for my own peace of mind.
I started telling all of my friends. Most of them weren't surprised, and they were all VERY supportive and really it didn't change our relationship at all. They were all very supportive when I got a girlfriend. They were even more supportive when I broke up with her because the relationship was not healthy at all. I'm afraid if I had let it go on any longer my friends would have abandoned me, or kicked my ass for dating someone who was not good for me at all. I love my friends very much, and am adamant about the fact that friends, at least at this point in life, are FAR more important than women. Girls will come and go but friends are forever.
I told my best friend over winter break. She was COMPLETELY blown away. Completely. Like the thought never even crossed her mind that I might not like guys. I have dated a lot of guys. Between 7 and 10th grade I was never without a boyfriend. My last two years in high school consisted of me trying desperately to cling to heterosexuality, and also working through some other issues that needed to be worked out.
The conversation between my best friend and I went something like this. My friend (the first person I ever told) outed me again. This time, my best friend really did not believe him, but she played along like she did.
"So does your mom know that you're gay?"
"Actually, no, she doesn't"
"Hah!"
"I'm serious"
"What? No you're not."
"Yes I am, I am gay, and my mother does not know."
"What? No. Really? No. What? You're joking. Are you serious?"
"Yes."
"OH MY GOSH THAT'S SO COOL!"
And that's how my best friend found out. Our relationship has only gotten better since then.
So I don't hide it from anyone anymore. I'm out on campus, I'm out to my lacrosse team, I'm out to all of my friends. I love being out, and I'm SO proud of the gay community for all of the strides they have made in the recent past that has made it comfortable for my generation to come out and be proud.
I'm very fortunate to live in a part of the world where it's not the end of the world if you are gay. I'm fortunate that I didn't attend a body of religion from the time that I was very young that told me that straight is the only way and anything else is a terrible, hell-bound sin.
I'm proud of who I am. I'm proud of myself for coming out. I wouldn't change a thing about me or about anyone. Gay or straight, we're all God's children. God creates in His image, and what better image than the image of Love.
God bless and have a WONDERFUL Pride Month!!!!
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
4%
If I got 4% of my paycheck, and the rest was taken out for "social security" that my generation will never see, I'd be mighty pissed.
If I was having a house built and only 4% of the construction was finished on the day that the entire home was supposed to be done, I would be very upset.
If I were in a terrible accident and only 4% of my body was salvageable... I'd be dead.
I live in a country where 4% of the states allow EVERYONE to be married.
I, unfortunately, don't live in one of the states where marriage is a civil liberty. Well, I'm a registered voter in CT and I've never been employed in any other state, and I write resident of CT on paperwork, but I do reside in the great state of Massachusetts 9/12 of the year.
I don't want to live in a country where marriage isn't a civil liberty for everyone. Where bigots run the nation. Where honest, hard working people aren't granted the same rights as other honest, hard working people, for no reason other than who they love.
At least they are capable of love.
At least they don't have to hide who they are and have anonymous sex with people in airport bathrooms, or take advantage of young people in our nation's capitol, or hire prostitutes, or any number of the outrageous things our elected officials, THE CIVIL SERVANTS OF THIS NATION, do, constantly. And with YOUR tax money.
I work, I drive a car, I live in a home, I have a family who is counting on my having a future, I go to college, I have friends and family who love me, I LOVE my friends and family. I also am attracted to women. So where's the crime?
Once I didn't have enough money to pay for a pizza, and I promised the man I'd pay him back the next day, and I've never gone back since. That's the first and last time I ever "stole" and I certainly didn't mean to.
Sometimes I yell at the people I love when I get frustrated.
I don't keep my room as tidy as I should.
I drink sometimes, and I smoked cigarettes before I turned 18. That's the extent of my illegal biddings.
My country would have me think that because I like chicks I am a second class citizen. STILL. After all these years. It was just over half a century ago, I believe, that homosexuality was taken out of the APA manual of psychological disorders. I don't have a psychological disorder. Certainly the ability to love another human being isn't a psychological disorder. It's a gift from God that should be cherished. Gender is of no consequence.
And don't bring God or the Bible into this. YOU IGNORANT BASTARDS! Read the Bible!!! Don't take it out of context and listen to those scumbags who spout hate!! They also beat their wives and children and perpetuate violence!! They also have 10 mouths to feed at home because they can't put a damn glove on it!! THEY ALSO ARE NOT THE MAJORITY OF THE POPULATION!
Most people are honest, hard working, quiet American citizens, just trying to get by, and love their families and make the most of the time they're given. THEY ELECTED YOU! Take their tax money and put it to good use!!
We all deserve the right to love whoever we chose, and to not be afraid to walk down the street holding hands with our lover, and to not be confronted with hate DAILY from the people who are supposed to be doing OUR WILL!
WASPS are not the majority anymore. I am a WASP, I am a woman, I am a decent, law abiding American citizen.
LET ME LOVE WHO I WANT TO LOVE IN PEACE!
Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness, that's all any American wants. And if anyone wants to take away the ability of other Americans to enjoy those rights that are guarenteed by our Constitution, well THEY will get a big dose of LOVE from me!!
P.S. that was kind of a rant, but it made me feel a lot better. Congratulations to California, God Bless all who are being married there now and in the coming months and God grant freedom for the rest of the nation!!
If I was having a house built and only 4% of the construction was finished on the day that the entire home was supposed to be done, I would be very upset.
If I were in a terrible accident and only 4% of my body was salvageable... I'd be dead.
I live in a country where 4% of the states allow EVERYONE to be married.
I, unfortunately, don't live in one of the states where marriage is a civil liberty. Well, I'm a registered voter in CT and I've never been employed in any other state, and I write resident of CT on paperwork, but I do reside in the great state of Massachusetts 9/12 of the year.
I don't want to live in a country where marriage isn't a civil liberty for everyone. Where bigots run the nation. Where honest, hard working people aren't granted the same rights as other honest, hard working people, for no reason other than who they love.
At least they are capable of love.
At least they don't have to hide who they are and have anonymous sex with people in airport bathrooms, or take advantage of young people in our nation's capitol, or hire prostitutes, or any number of the outrageous things our elected officials, THE CIVIL SERVANTS OF THIS NATION, do, constantly. And with YOUR tax money.
I work, I drive a car, I live in a home, I have a family who is counting on my having a future, I go to college, I have friends and family who love me, I LOVE my friends and family. I also am attracted to women. So where's the crime?
Once I didn't have enough money to pay for a pizza, and I promised the man I'd pay him back the next day, and I've never gone back since. That's the first and last time I ever "stole" and I certainly didn't mean to.
Sometimes I yell at the people I love when I get frustrated.
I don't keep my room as tidy as I should.
I drink sometimes, and I smoked cigarettes before I turned 18. That's the extent of my illegal biddings.
My country would have me think that because I like chicks I am a second class citizen. STILL. After all these years. It was just over half a century ago, I believe, that homosexuality was taken out of the APA manual of psychological disorders. I don't have a psychological disorder. Certainly the ability to love another human being isn't a psychological disorder. It's a gift from God that should be cherished. Gender is of no consequence.
And don't bring God or the Bible into this. YOU IGNORANT BASTARDS! Read the Bible!!! Don't take it out of context and listen to those scumbags who spout hate!! They also beat their wives and children and perpetuate violence!! They also have 10 mouths to feed at home because they can't put a damn glove on it!! THEY ALSO ARE NOT THE MAJORITY OF THE POPULATION!
Most people are honest, hard working, quiet American citizens, just trying to get by, and love their families and make the most of the time they're given. THEY ELECTED YOU! Take their tax money and put it to good use!!
We all deserve the right to love whoever we chose, and to not be afraid to walk down the street holding hands with our lover, and to not be confronted with hate DAILY from the people who are supposed to be doing OUR WILL!
WASPS are not the majority anymore. I am a WASP, I am a woman, I am a decent, law abiding American citizen.
LET ME LOVE WHO I WANT TO LOVE IN PEACE!
Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness, that's all any American wants. And if anyone wants to take away the ability of other Americans to enjoy those rights that are guarenteed by our Constitution, well THEY will get a big dose of LOVE from me!!
P.S. that was kind of a rant, but it made me feel a lot better. Congratulations to California, God Bless all who are being married there now and in the coming months and God grant freedom for the rest of the nation!!
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Just Another Manic... Tuesday?
I woke up this morning around 10 and my mother was still around the house. In fact it was she, walking into my room and dropping a hamper on my bed (exactly where my legs were, thanks mom) who woke me up. "Is it Sunday?" I mumbled almost incoherently. She laughed and said "Yeah, you slept for a whole week" and then proceeded to tell me about how her front axel fell apart this morning in the driveway so it was in the garage and she couldn't get to work. Bullshit, my car is sitting in the driveway, if she really wanted to get there she totally could have. But I'm glad she didn't because, for some reason, I always seem to have more fun when that crazy madre of mine is around.
So I said I was going to quit my job and well... I'm not. I got my pay check today and I discovered how much I really like money. I have to go talk to my boss about putting me on the schedule again. Blah... I'm not very good at grovelling... sadly. But whatever, such is life.
So I went to visit my pal Rob today at his college, we had lunch, discussed quitting smoking/quitting my job/nature, things like that.
My friends and I also decided that we will be going camping on the cape in a few weeks, also. I'm VERY excited about that, but I hope it happens (with work schedules and all). Le sigh, things were so much simpler when we were younger.
So I took the madre to the garage and she got her car, $2,000 later. We also opened the pool today and it's awesome. I haven't been in it yet but it looks really good.
So it was a pretty good day, a pretty busy day. I'm going on a bike ride with my best friend in a little while. I love taking bike rides with her cause, well, we're best friends and it's just awesome. We get to be all bikey and talky and ridey and things like that.
And I love sitting on the swings with her when we arrive at our destination (which is usually the playground of our old elementary school) and talking about everything in the world. She's pretty amazing, that best friend o'mine. I'm incredibly lucky to have the people in my life who I do have in my life. They truly are gifts.
So I said I was going to quit my job and well... I'm not. I got my pay check today and I discovered how much I really like money. I have to go talk to my boss about putting me on the schedule again. Blah... I'm not very good at grovelling... sadly. But whatever, such is life.
So I went to visit my pal Rob today at his college, we had lunch, discussed quitting smoking/quitting my job/nature, things like that.
My friends and I also decided that we will be going camping on the cape in a few weeks, also. I'm VERY excited about that, but I hope it happens (with work schedules and all). Le sigh, things were so much simpler when we were younger.
So I took the madre to the garage and she got her car, $2,000 later. We also opened the pool today and it's awesome. I haven't been in it yet but it looks really good.
So it was a pretty good day, a pretty busy day. I'm going on a bike ride with my best friend in a little while. I love taking bike rides with her cause, well, we're best friends and it's just awesome. We get to be all bikey and talky and ridey and things like that.
And I love sitting on the swings with her when we arrive at our destination (which is usually the playground of our old elementary school) and talking about everything in the world. She's pretty amazing, that best friend o'mine. I'm incredibly lucky to have the people in my life who I do have in my life. They truly are gifts.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Pull Shapes
So I hate my job... and I may or may not be forced into quitting. I went back today to see if I could get any hours this week and my manager was chastising me for not "reminding" her that I was going on vacation. I told her I was going to be on vacation June 7-14 (Saturday-Saturday) on the Wednesday before I left. That wasn't good enough? She had a pad of paper and a pen in her hand, she couldn't write it down?
In any event, she told me I have to pick my check up from the district manager, so I'm going to go do that in a little while. While I'm out, though, I'm going to be filling out applications for other places. I heard the Borders at the mall near my house is hiring, and that job would be just so perfect I can't even stand it! I could do a backflip thinking about how awesome that would be.
I'm also going to get back to writing. I haven't really written much since the beginning of the school year (I had a good deal of free time first semester, and what wasn't spent shotgunning beer or drinking whiskey straight from the bottle was spent writing/studying). I'd like to get something published. I mean, I was published in the literary magazine in high school and more recently the the magazine in college (and a poetry book of young writers across America in 5th grade, super proud of that one), but I'd love to be published in a "real" magazine or collection of short stories. Something like that. If I made some money off of it, all the better, right?
For right now, though, almost all is right with the world. Almost all, anyway, I still have to go talk to the district manager and sound like an ass (per usual).
The seniors from my alma mater graduate tomorrow night!! It's enough to bring a tear to my eye. I wish them all the best of luck in whatever route they pursue. It's a big scary world out there, but as long as there are people who care about you in it then it's not so bad.
And I'm going to MA this week to visit some incredible people and possibly get my lacrosse on!! I haven't played lacrosse since May (sadly), if I could I'd play 24 hours a day. As soon as the pool is open, though, I'll be doing some serious swimming. I wish there were more hours in the day, and that employment was less necessary to detract from the awesome of summer. Le sigh.
Oh, and the reasoning behind the title of this blog... I'm addicted to "Pull Shapes" by the Pipettes. My lovely roommate thinks it's hilarious that the lyrics "dance with me pretty boy tonight" can very often be found in my away message. If she thinks that's funny, she should see me spinning around my house singing the song over and over again. Quite a sight to be seen. It really is an addicting song though.
In any event, she told me I have to pick my check up from the district manager, so I'm going to go do that in a little while. While I'm out, though, I'm going to be filling out applications for other places. I heard the Borders at the mall near my house is hiring, and that job would be just so perfect I can't even stand it! I could do a backflip thinking about how awesome that would be.
I'm also going to get back to writing. I haven't really written much since the beginning of the school year (I had a good deal of free time first semester, and what wasn't spent shotgunning beer or drinking whiskey straight from the bottle was spent writing/studying). I'd like to get something published. I mean, I was published in the literary magazine in high school and more recently the the magazine in college (and a poetry book of young writers across America in 5th grade, super proud of that one), but I'd love to be published in a "real" magazine or collection of short stories. Something like that. If I made some money off of it, all the better, right?
For right now, though, almost all is right with the world. Almost all, anyway, I still have to go talk to the district manager and sound like an ass (per usual).
The seniors from my alma mater graduate tomorrow night!! It's enough to bring a tear to my eye. I wish them all the best of luck in whatever route they pursue. It's a big scary world out there, but as long as there are people who care about you in it then it's not so bad.
And I'm going to MA this week to visit some incredible people and possibly get my lacrosse on!! I haven't played lacrosse since May (sadly), if I could I'd play 24 hours a day. As soon as the pool is open, though, I'll be doing some serious swimming. I wish there were more hours in the day, and that employment was less necessary to detract from the awesome of summer. Le sigh.
Oh, and the reasoning behind the title of this blog... I'm addicted to "Pull Shapes" by the Pipettes. My lovely roommate thinks it's hilarious that the lyrics "dance with me pretty boy tonight" can very often be found in my away message. If she thinks that's funny, she should see me spinning around my house singing the song over and over again. Quite a sight to be seen. It really is an addicting song though.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Being Auntie Rachel, the Best Job in the World
I just saw a picture of my niece on the floor of my bedroom. Usually this picture is propped up over the head of my bed on one of those over/around the bed thingies in my dorm room. I guess in the move home it found it's way to the floor.
It's a picture of her on her first day of preschool, with her backpack and her cute little pigtails.
Whenever I see that picture I am reminded of the fact that I would do absolutely anything for that kid, something of which I am powerless to change.
I remember holding her the day she was born, and how when I looked into her eyes I saw my father, her grandfather's, eyes staring back at me. I also saw my sister's eyes, and my eyes. Eye colour is something my father, my sister, my niece and myself all share in common. Bright blue iris with yellow around the pupil. They're very beautiful, but more than that our eyes are what tie us together in many ways. The things we have seen, the things we will see, the things we will show to the next generation. The things our father never had the opportunity to show to his grandchildren.
It makes me very sad when I think about my father missing out on his grandchildren and his grandchildren missing out on him. He really was a wonderful human being with so much love and life.
I remember crawling into the hospital bed with him when he was too sick to run around the hospital with me on his wheeled fluid carrying thingy. He would put his arm around me and we would watch Disney movies and listen to the hum of the machines hooked up to his dying body. He could always make me laugh. Not just a chuckle, but a belly laugh. Happy father's day daddy. I know you're somewhere drinking amazing wine, in no pain, with Candy and Kashi and Ducky curled up around you, watching your amazing grandchildren grow up and looking down on your daughters with pride.
When I stay over at my sister's house and am lulled to sleep by the sound of my crying nephew, I can hardly wait to start the next day.
"Wake up Auntie Rachel wake up!" a voice squeeks, bouncing down the hallway. The door to the guest room slowly opens and the owner of the squeeky voice materializes before my half closed eyes. "Hi, wake up," she repeats. It's 8 am. If I had it my way I would be asleep for at least 4 more hours. I lie there, motionless, and she slowly creeps over to the bed, shakes me, and proceeds to curl up as close as she can possibly get to me.
I love her so much more than I thought I was ever capable of loving another human being. I hope she stays 5 years old forever, but I'm practical and I know that's asking too much of God.
Is hope it's not too much to ask that she has the most amazing life, that she goes to Wellesley, is allowed to marry whoever she chooses, never knows war or pain or suffering, and knows forever and ever that wherever she is in the world, her Auntie Rachel loves her more than anything.
It's a picture of her on her first day of preschool, with her backpack and her cute little pigtails.
Whenever I see that picture I am reminded of the fact that I would do absolutely anything for that kid, something of which I am powerless to change.
I remember holding her the day she was born, and how when I looked into her eyes I saw my father, her grandfather's, eyes staring back at me. I also saw my sister's eyes, and my eyes. Eye colour is something my father, my sister, my niece and myself all share in common. Bright blue iris with yellow around the pupil. They're very beautiful, but more than that our eyes are what tie us together in many ways. The things we have seen, the things we will see, the things we will show to the next generation. The things our father never had the opportunity to show to his grandchildren.
It makes me very sad when I think about my father missing out on his grandchildren and his grandchildren missing out on him. He really was a wonderful human being with so much love and life.
I remember crawling into the hospital bed with him when he was too sick to run around the hospital with me on his wheeled fluid carrying thingy. He would put his arm around me and we would watch Disney movies and listen to the hum of the machines hooked up to his dying body. He could always make me laugh. Not just a chuckle, but a belly laugh. Happy father's day daddy. I know you're somewhere drinking amazing wine, in no pain, with Candy and Kashi and Ducky curled up around you, watching your amazing grandchildren grow up and looking down on your daughters with pride.
When I stay over at my sister's house and am lulled to sleep by the sound of my crying nephew, I can hardly wait to start the next day.
"Wake up Auntie Rachel wake up!" a voice squeeks, bouncing down the hallway. The door to the guest room slowly opens and the owner of the squeeky voice materializes before my half closed eyes. "Hi, wake up," she repeats. It's 8 am. If I had it my way I would be asleep for at least 4 more hours. I lie there, motionless, and she slowly creeps over to the bed, shakes me, and proceeds to curl up as close as she can possibly get to me.
I love her so much more than I thought I was ever capable of loving another human being. I hope she stays 5 years old forever, but I'm practical and I know that's asking too much of God.
Is hope it's not too much to ask that she has the most amazing life, that she goes to Wellesley, is allowed to marry whoever she chooses, never knows war or pain or suffering, and knows forever and ever that wherever she is in the world, her Auntie Rachel loves her more than anything.
Please Return Your Tray Tables to the Upright and Locked Position
And don't forget to have the worst flight ever. Ugh, I do not even know where to begin.
We left Disney for the airport at about 4 in the afternoon, for a 6:30 flight on Delta. Little did we know that, upon arriving at gate 77 in Orland Intl. Airport, we would discover that our flight was delayed until 8.
I wasn't terribly upset, seeing as I really had nowhere better to be and doing better to be doing with my time. So I sat down with my new Vonnegut novel (Jailbird... it's really good so far!) and a mini box of wheat thins and I was completely satisfied with life.
My mother, on the other hand, was ripshit, and made it known to anyone who cared to listen. Eventually, the flight was delayed even further to 8:45, while we waited for the flight crew to come in. They were apparently delayed by weather, and we were assigned a new flight crew something crazy like that I have no idea what the hell was going on. All I know is we would all be arriving in Hartford at least 2 hours after we were originally scheduled to be arriving.
Finally the flight crew arrived, and we boarded the plane. The seats were 3 across on one side and 2 across on the other. We were sitting in a row of 2, directly across from where they keep the peanuts and diet cokes. Oh and where one of the emergency exits were located. Not cool, at all, totally not on the flight plan. It was SO noisy right there. AND the arm rest in betwen my mother and I wouldn't go up, so whenever I would stretch my seat would recline because my thigh rubbed against the little recline button.
Up until that point I was being my regular cool calm collected self, taking everything in stride and generally pissing my mother off with my mellow-ness. But the arm rest killed me. I was cramped, uncomfortable, and very pissed off. I travel a lot and this was by far one of the worst air travel experiences I have had thus far.
So Delta, if you're listening, you guys need to step up your act. I'm a frequent flier, and I'll start flying Southwest or American if this happens again.
Otherwise it was a very enjoyable, if not educational, vacation.
I'm dreading calling in to work and asking for my hours. I'm just dreading work in general. I would so much rather just lay around by the pool all summer and work on my awesomeness.
Oh, we're opening the pool today too! I'm super excited, it should be fully operational by Wednesday. My dog and I are so going to be the first "people" in the pool this year, we can't even wait. I can see the anticipation in her big brown eyes. The pool water is green right now, but pretty soon it's going to be crystal blue and oh man I just cannot even wait.
Speaking of amazing things, when we finally got home last night (walked through the door at almost exactly 1 am) I was pleasantly surprised with a banner and balloons at the bottom of the stairway right in front of the main door. My friends (who had been pet sitting for us and did WONDERFUL job) had left me a "happy birthday" banner, a "happy birthday" balloon and an "it's a girl" balloon. It was so cute and touching, I freakin love my friends. Molly and Kate, you guys are THE BEST (and so are you Natasha, I know you would have been in on it if you weren't in Poland... COMING HOME TOMORROW!!). Last year, for my 18th birthday, I woke up that morning to a "CONGRATULATIONS IT'S A GIRL!" sign on my front lawn. We left it there for a long time, and I still have it (I'll so have it forever).
There really are beautiful things in this world, like flowers and babies and rainbows (I saw a rainbow over the magic kingdom the other day, it was way cool). The most beautiful thing of all, though, is friendship. There is nothing like it in the world, and with friendship, anything and everything is possible.
We left Disney for the airport at about 4 in the afternoon, for a 6:30 flight on Delta. Little did we know that, upon arriving at gate 77 in Orland Intl. Airport, we would discover that our flight was delayed until 8.
I wasn't terribly upset, seeing as I really had nowhere better to be and doing better to be doing with my time. So I sat down with my new Vonnegut novel (Jailbird... it's really good so far!) and a mini box of wheat thins and I was completely satisfied with life.
My mother, on the other hand, was ripshit, and made it known to anyone who cared to listen. Eventually, the flight was delayed even further to 8:45, while we waited for the flight crew to come in. They were apparently delayed by weather, and we were assigned a new flight crew something crazy like that I have no idea what the hell was going on. All I know is we would all be arriving in Hartford at least 2 hours after we were originally scheduled to be arriving.
Finally the flight crew arrived, and we boarded the plane. The seats were 3 across on one side and 2 across on the other. We were sitting in a row of 2, directly across from where they keep the peanuts and diet cokes. Oh and where one of the emergency exits were located. Not cool, at all, totally not on the flight plan. It was SO noisy right there. AND the arm rest in betwen my mother and I wouldn't go up, so whenever I would stretch my seat would recline because my thigh rubbed against the little recline button.
Up until that point I was being my regular cool calm collected self, taking everything in stride and generally pissing my mother off with my mellow-ness. But the arm rest killed me. I was cramped, uncomfortable, and very pissed off. I travel a lot and this was by far one of the worst air travel experiences I have had thus far.
So Delta, if you're listening, you guys need to step up your act. I'm a frequent flier, and I'll start flying Southwest or American if this happens again.
Otherwise it was a very enjoyable, if not educational, vacation.
I'm dreading calling in to work and asking for my hours. I'm just dreading work in general. I would so much rather just lay around by the pool all summer and work on my awesomeness.
Oh, we're opening the pool today too! I'm super excited, it should be fully operational by Wednesday. My dog and I are so going to be the first "people" in the pool this year, we can't even wait. I can see the anticipation in her big brown eyes. The pool water is green right now, but pretty soon it's going to be crystal blue and oh man I just cannot even wait.
Speaking of amazing things, when we finally got home last night (walked through the door at almost exactly 1 am) I was pleasantly surprised with a banner and balloons at the bottom of the stairway right in front of the main door. My friends (who had been pet sitting for us and did WONDERFUL job) had left me a "happy birthday" banner, a "happy birthday" balloon and an "it's a girl" balloon. It was so cute and touching, I freakin love my friends. Molly and Kate, you guys are THE BEST (and so are you Natasha, I know you would have been in on it if you weren't in Poland... COMING HOME TOMORROW!!). Last year, for my 18th birthday, I woke up that morning to a "CONGRATULATIONS IT'S A GIRL!" sign on my front lawn. We left it there for a long time, and I still have it (I'll so have it forever).
There really are beautiful things in this world, like flowers and babies and rainbows (I saw a rainbow over the magic kingdom the other day, it was way cool). The most beautiful thing of all, though, is friendship. There is nothing like it in the world, and with friendship, anything and everything is possible.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)