Life

So I guess a lot has transpired that I haven't blogged about, mainly because it's all been happening leaving no time for blogging.

First of all, today is the big Christmas concert (today at 3:30) and the big semester dance (tonight at 10). I had absolutely no idea that I was supposed to be playing in this concert until Tuesday of this week, when the person who runs the small ensemble I'm involved with on campus said he would have to fail me if I didn't show up (meanwhile all semester he had known I wasn't intending on going to the concert because instrumentalists have no set in the concert, so there is literally no point at all in my being there because they hire a full orchestra and I will merely be in the background). So that was that, I'm pretty pissed about it actually but I'm going anyway. I have to be down there at 11:45 and until then I'm working on homework (clearly) and practicing my violin. What I would like to know is, how can he threaten to fail me when it's a pass fail course that no one even gets credit for. Basically it's a club that shows upon your transcript. Fuckin ridiculous.

The dance is tonight and it should be a great time. I'm going with this girl from my research methods class who I asked to go with me way back when, and this other girl (from my lacrosse team) who I bought at the date auction the week before Thanksgving for 17 bucks, her date (also from the lacrosse team) who she bought at the date auction for 13 bucks, and that girl's date (her best friend). It's basically one big shenanigan. It's actually really funny because I'm not even technically going with my girlfriend, who is technically going with my best friend (also from the lacrosse team). I think she is a little concerned about me going with the girl from my research methods class (who would do basically anything for attention and who hits shamelessly on me all the time) but it'll be fine. Everybody will have a good time.

So yeah, I thought about some stuff and figured out my confusion, and now there is very little left to be confused about. I told her that I know she's a senior, and she'll be graduating and she has a life and she might not even like girls (though she assures me she likes me, she doesn't know if it's just me or if it's that she is really bisexual or gay), but that at this point in time right here and right now I want to be with her, and only her. It's causing a very small ruckus amongst our groups of friends, for example my best friend from school (her roommate) basically hates her guts because she talks about me all the time, and one of her best friends who never got along with me has for all intents and purposes abandoned her as a friend. It's an odd situation but it is what it is. Like she says, we care about each other and that's all that matters. She's a great person and I consider myself very fortunate to be spending time with her and getting to know her on a different level than when we were just friends.

Sick

I hardly ever get sick, but when I do I give being sick a whole new meaning.

Tuesdays are my lightests days, thankfully, or else I would probably be in a puddle of tears right now.

I'm super congested, I wish someone would just rip my throat out so it would stop hurting, I feel like my head is probably going to explode. I just feel generally not okay at all, and the scary part is that it feels like it's going to be getting worse before it gets better.

I don't want to get anyone sick, and I particularly don't want to get anyone sick or still be sick before this weekend (there's a party Friday night and a big fancy semiformal dance on Saturday).

I look forward to coming back to my room after class and just sleeping.