This boy is a hero

Will Phillips, a 10 year old elementary-schooler from Arkansas, is exercising his Constitutional right to stand in silence while the Pledge of Allegiance is recited. He refuses to recite the pledge because, in his belief, it does not apply to all Americans, namely GLBT Americans.

God bless this young man, and take care of him too. It's hard to fight for what's right, but he is 10 and he is standing up to his peers and his teachers and his administrators and saying "Something is not right with this country, and this 'pledge' does not apply to all Americans." When I was 10 I thought about art class and what I would make today, I thought about playing my squeeky and shrill violin, I thought about playing on the playscape and avoiding getting splinters, about petting the horses behind the elementary school during recess. I didn't much think about things that were bigger than the immediate future, much less things that were any bigger than just me. We need more adults (and kids) like Will Phillips, what a brave young man.

Well You'll Never Find It, If You're Looking For It

My mom is leaving for India this evening at 10:25. 10:25 on the East Coast is 3:25 am in London. I'll be sound asleep.

I had a nightmare last night that my mother died. I'll spare you to morbid details. It was so scary that I opened my eyes abruptly and stared at my ceiling for hours, wondering... what would I do if something were to happen to her?

I couldn't handle being an orphan.

Sometimes I feel orphaned in this whole thing with my mom's friend Naveen. It's not fair that he has two parents, a brother who has a wife and a son, a sister who has a husband and a son, dozens of cousins with families and children, all of whom he considers to be his immediate family. It's not fair that he has taken my mother from me, the only person I have. Sure I have aunts and uncles and cousins. I have a sister and a brother-in-law and two nieces and a nephew. All those people love me, but no one loves me like my mom. We've been through so much together, it's impossible for anyone to truly understand our relationship. It's impossible to articulate how much I love my mother, despite all of the terrible things she's put me through (I know I put her through a lot in the not too distant past, as well). It's like loving someone or something so much that your heart might rip open.

But then Naveen came into the picture, and slowly took her away from me. I feel so helpless, like I'm standing on the beach, and a riptide has come and swept my only parent away from me.

It's like having my father die all over again.

November 21st will be twelve years. I have no anniversary for when my mother was taken away from me. And I can't even mourn her loss without being called crazy, but I do mourn for her. She's going to a strange country, not even to a major city but to a tiny village. Naveen's parents have never even left their village. My mother will be treated as a woman, which means she won't be respected at all. She will be respected even less because she is "unmarried," even though she was once married. She will be treated, effectively, as a teenaged girl: worthless. And she is willingly going to this country. She is getting on a plane for 18 hours to fly to a country where she will be treated like an outcast, like a stray dog.

She'll be there until December 5th. I feel like I will have many nights of laying awake for hours, staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep, unwilling to sleep when sleep only brings dreams of torturous things.

I feel completely and totally alone. No one understands, no one tries to understand or wants to understand. It is utterly heartbreaking to have this happen and be unable to prevent it. I'm powerless. This is my least favourite feeling in the world.

I hope she has a safe flight, a comfortable journey, and that she comes home safely.

Veterans Day

In Flanders Fields, the poppies blow,
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place, and in the sky,
The larks, still bravely singing, fly,
Scarce heard amid the guns below

We are the Dead. Short days ago,
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie,
In Flanders Fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders Field.

- In Flanders Field, John McCrae 1915

This poem was written in World War I by a Canadian solider serving for United Kingdom. Sophomore year in high school we had to choose a theme and find poems related to that theme. The theme I chose was war, and naturally I came across this poem. I've never been able to get it out of my head, and I hope I never do. It is so poignant. So beautiful. So well-written. And so simple.

Peace.

Thank you, veterans, for serving your countries, for fighting valiantly and giving your youth, your talents, your lives, your all. It's a job I could never do, and I give you all of the credit in the world for fighting old men's battles for them. God bless everyone who serves, no matter what side you are on. And one day, when old men no longer run the world, when we aren't plagued with old thoughts, old deeds, old wrongs and old rights, we can live in peace, and we can all lay down our weapons, and there won't be any more fighting. Until then, though, I'm praying for everyone who takes up the quarrel, with any foe, and hoping peace comes sooner rather than later.

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

We're home from Ireland. It was lovely, it rained all day Saturday, but it was incredibly beautiful (despite the rain). I love me some old country, it feels like going home for some reason, but it makes me miss Newfoundland like crazy (not that everything doesn't make me miss Newfoundland... but everything about Ireland reminds me of NF). I can't stand how isolated Ireland is though, and how small everything is and how quiet it is and how friendly everyone is...

Hah well at that last part, everyone is very friendly in Ireland (once you get outside of Dublin) for the most part, which is something you RARELY find in London. It's nice to having someone treat you with politeness, it's just very strange (for me, someone who spends the better part of her time being treated like the lowest of the low in my baggy jeans and hoodies on the streets of London. Just because I don't wear Gucci and Versace doesn't mean you have the right to treat me like sh*t, it just means I'm not as tacky and flamboyant as you).

But now onto bigger and better news.

Oh so so so much better.

I can barely contain my joy.

Okay Rachel... breathe...

I'm going to see Cat on a Hot Tin Roof with Hillary in 15 days (15 days tomorrow night, I'm jumping ahead a little out of sheer excitement).

But seeing that play isn't the most exciting part. It gets better.

It's staring... JAMES EARL JONES!! Mufasa... Darth Vader... Oh how exquisite it will be!!

But wait... it is about to get even better!!

It's also starring... PHYLICIA RASHAD!! Now, I know I'm in love with an average of 50 billion women at any given moment, but to be completely honest, Phylicia Rashad is probably the hottest woman I've ever seen (if not at least she is in the top five). She is so hott, with her BA attitude on the Cosby Show, not to mention how drop-dead, breath-takingly GORGEOUS she is. I'm probably going to melt into a puddle in my seat and Hillary is going to have to carry me home. I know I won't be able to take pictures in the theatre, but rest assured my mouth will be gaping open the entire time and I will have palpitations.

Hope everyones' weeks are off to fantastic starts. Tomorrow is Tuesday... ugh... my worst day. My architecture professor runs us all over the city on Tuesdays. Wish me luck please!

Take care out there!