Hold the phone yo. There are things we're NOT supposed to do?!?!
Who knew!
Well I know you're not supposed to do things that are detrimental to your health, like smoking or drinking excessively. Welcome to college.
You shouldn't have unprotected sex. Uhm yeah... well I don't know what to say about that expect that it's true. You should avoid unprotected sex. Yeah.
You're not supposed to drive under the influenceof anything besides oxygen, good old H20, or anything else any decent human being would allow to pass through their body. All I can say is sometimes you need to relax, and then sometimes you need to drive home. HOWEVER, there always has to be a limit. If you can't find your keys because you're seeing 6 of them, DON'T DRIVE.
I've clearly done a lot of things you're not supposed to do. But those things are just common knowledge I guess. My folks never sat me down as a wee pup and said to me "One day you'll be tempted to get sloshed, have unprotected sex with everything in sight, and proceed to drive home. At that point in time you should remember this lesson and know GOD IS WATCHING."
I kind of wish they had that discussion with me, my life would be SO much more interesting. Therapists would love me.
In any event, I know you shouldn't do those things and I try to avoid them as much as possible.
My mother doesn't make a habit out of telling me what not to do.
So this evening when we were talking about this girl one of her coworkers is interested in I was taken aback by a comment she made. She asked me what I thought about the girl and I responded with "she's not my type." Her response "You're not supposed to, she's a girl."
I sat there for a minute, thinking about what just transpired. It never occurred to me that she might not be okay with my interest in women. Well, I guess it did, and that's probably the reason why I didn't tell her. I chaulked it all up to I really didn't and don't want to have to get into the private details of my sex life with her when I do come out to her, so I'd prefer to wait.
But wow, I'm not SUPPOSED to like girls? Who said that?? The entire conservative contingency of the United States? Well fuck that, I'm like whoever I damn well please, I'll love whoever I damn well please. Hell I'll even sleep with whoever I damn well please and it's nobody's fucking business besides mine and whoever I am liking/loving/screwing.
I don't know... it's just so weird. I had no idea I was expected to like someone else... it's just too weird for words. I've dated guys, I've screwed guys, I've pretty much done all there is to do with the male specie besides marriage and child rearing. News to the flash yo: same sex couples can marry and rear children now too! I don't need some punk who thinks he knows what I want screwing around with me when he has absolutely no clue what he is doing. And guys are so hairy and yucky and gross... with their big hands and weird faces and lack of comfy boobs. Guys are just abnormal. And penises... don't even get me started. ICK!
Girls are weird, I won't lie. But guys are WAY weirder, and weirder in a different way entirely. But girls are so soft... and beautiful and gentle. There's nothing like a nice girl to come home to at the end of a long day to make you thankful you're a "cahpet muncha."
So I'm going to rearrange my mom's words, and her thoughts, to fit the way things should be said.
Me "she's not my type"
Madre "Hmmm, so what is your type, m'dear?"
It's time like these that I ask myself... WWJCD? What Would June Clever Do?
If the Beave wanted to get it on with one of the boys from the football team, wouldn't June just say "Oh Beaver, it's okay, Ward and I will love you forever. Here's a condom."? I think so.
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