I haven't blogged in a long time, so I'm gonna.
Summer is going by EXTREMELY fast, hence the lack of blogging. I was offered three jobs at the beginning of the summer, but then I found out that I got an independent study in Cambridge next year and my honors thesis proposal for the English department was accepted, so I declined one of the jobs so that I could work on getting ready for both of those things. Needless to say, I'm poor, but I'm not unhappy. And if and when I get into graduate school next year, I will be even more poor. So it goes.
So much has happened since I last blogged! I went to the conference for my church, and it was really really awesome I had a wonderful time. Lots of worship, food, time to hang out with my pastor, voting on resolutions (including a resolution to denounce the Arizona immigration initiative).
I turned 21 on June 12. It's not as much fun as it's cracked up to be, but I LOVE being able to buy myself alcohol when I go to the grocery store or the liquor store. In college when you're under 21 you're pretty limited to Bud Lite (if you're lucky) or Mich lite (if you're even luckier), but there are so many more varities to choose from. I'm becoming a beer snob. If you're ever in the Massachusetts area try Wachusett Mountain Blueberry beer, so good.
I'm house sitting for one of my employers while she is on vacation for a month, and she has a pool so it's pretty freakin sweet. She's a really wonderful person on top of having a pool and a yard (I miss having outdoor space, so it's amazing for me to be able to go to her house and just hang out outside), I'm really lucky that she found me and we get along.
We went to see Dave Matthews a few days before my birthday, the concert was really good actually. I thought Dave might suck live, for some reason, but he was really good. Boyd Tinsley, however, Dave's violinist, definitely stole the show. I'd go straight for Boyd, what a looker.
Last weekend was my family reunion weekend, which got ever the complicated by the fact that Hillary and I were going to see Brandi Carlile at the Casino Ballroom in Hampton, NH Friday night, the reunion was Saturday in the Catskills in NY (and my whole family was there from Friday to Sunday at the campground), and we were going to see Lilith Fair in Hartford on Sunday. Brandi was awesome, per usual (if you ever have the chance to see Brandi live, do it!), but we ended up leaving NH around 11 pm, and we drove straight to NY and ended up pulling into the camp site around 4:30 in the morning. We woke up Saturday around 11 and did the reunion thing, which was a lot of fun as it always is (it just always goes by so quickly). Sunday morning we left around 10 am or so and drove to my house in CT, got there around 1 and had to turn around and grab some lunch and head over to the Meadows in Hartford.
I'm going to be real for a second and say that I was a might bit disappointed in Lilith Fair. I guess I just always had this perception that it would be this amazing eye opening chick rock experience, and to an extent it was but on a SUPER small scale. When I think chick rock I think Brandi Carlile, Indigo Girls, Alanis Morisette, Sarah McLachlan, Sinead O'Connor, Sheryl Crowe, Tegan and Sara, the Dixie Chicks, Ani Difranco, Cyndi Lauper, to name a VERY few. As much as Ingrid Michaelson, Cat Power and Sarah Barellis were good (Cat Power to a lesser extent), they don't strike me as timeless the way any and all of the aforementioned artists do. In any event, the Indigo Girls were fantastic live, everything I hoped for and so much more. Sarah McLachlan kind of disappointed me, I won't lie, and 'Ice Cream' almost made up for it, but not really. She just didn't sound the way I expected she would, whereas the Indigo Girls were up there singing dancing and playing their instruments like they were standing in a recording studio.
I'm pleased with my summer, and hopefully I will be in the right frame of mind to blog more frequently between now and September, since I fear that I will drop off the face of the Earth come the beginning of my senior year (I can't f**king believe it).
Hope everyone out there enjoyed June, July and has a very lovely August!
Showing posts with label Summer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Summer. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
At Least I'm Enjoying the Ride
Lots of stuff has been going on since I last blogged. I s'pose I'll begin at the beginning (as Julie Andrews [the human, not the cat] would say: let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start...).
A week ago Monday Hillary and I climbed 98% of Mt. Monadnock in New Hampshire. Apparently it's the second most climbed mountain in the world, right behind Mt. Fugi in Japan (totally going there at some point in my life). It was absolutely beautiful and so worth every ounce of sweat and every curse that slipped out of my lips the following day when my knees felt like they were going to give out. We couldn't finish climbing because there is a sheer rock face about, maybe 200 feet from the summit, and I knew I could get up, but getting down is the hard part.
You gotta get up to get down.
So we were content with getting as far as we got (and we made it sooooo far) and then climbing back down. We also didn't have enough water, which was a major concern. I actually ended up filling up my bottle at a stream (despite Hillary's warnings that I would get parasites. It's been a week, still no parasites and that water was darn good).
That's the trail... oi vey
A rock in the shape of a heart :)
Nature
A breathtaking view, even if it's a few hundred feet from the top
Later in the week we had to bring some family members up to upstate New York (we're not talking Albany or Syracuse here, we're talking borderline Canada, where some of the towns speak French) to retrieve their vehicle which had been being serviced for over a month. No one else in the family would do it, and what's family for if not to be there when you need them most? It was an extremely long day though, we started the journey at 8 am from where they were staying in MA and didn't get off the road until close to 11 pm that night. We took breaks for meals and stretches but mainly we just drove and drove... which is entirely too exhausting for my liking.
Over the weekend, Hillary and I went up to Maine to visit with her friend and her friend's boyfriend. It ended up that her friend's boyfriend's family was headed to the family cabin in the woods that weekend, so we tagged along and had a pretty awesome time. The cabin had no electricity or running water, it was mainly a place to sleep. There was an outhouse a bit away from the cabin. The cabin was entirely in the woods, surrounded by trees and a huge beautiful crystal clear lake bordered by mountains and rolling hills. There was no one around, no other campers and no cabins at all, just us, the sound of the water hitting the pebbles on the shore and the loons calling to each other. Hillary and I stayed in a tent in the woods and fell asleep to the loons and the crickets. It was wonderful to be unplugged for a while, to just enjoy being together and being surrounded by new friends and just relaxing for a bit. AND on the way home we stopped at LL Bean in Freeport, which was very cool, though super overwhelming. Still, a very cool store and definitely worth the experience. Give me the catalogue anyday though.
Now I'm mainly in London mode, trying to figure out what I need, what I have, what I can get when I'm there and what I should bring, etc. No big trips this weekend, except up to see my grandmother on Nantucket on Friday (which I'm not very comfortable with at the moment, since the Kennedys will be swarming the place and we'll have to avoid heavy traffic times at all cost) and to see some fireworks with Hill Saturday night. Summer is really starting to wind down now, and I can't say as though that makes me sad, though this is my last real summer of freedom. I'm so excited for adventure and the unknown, London will be a great adventure, I can hardly wait.
A week ago Monday Hillary and I climbed 98% of Mt. Monadnock in New Hampshire. Apparently it's the second most climbed mountain in the world, right behind Mt. Fugi in Japan (totally going there at some point in my life). It was absolutely beautiful and so worth every ounce of sweat and every curse that slipped out of my lips the following day when my knees felt like they were going to give out. We couldn't finish climbing because there is a sheer rock face about, maybe 200 feet from the summit, and I knew I could get up, but getting down is the hard part.
You gotta get up to get down.
So we were content with getting as far as we got (and we made it sooooo far) and then climbing back down. We also didn't have enough water, which was a major concern. I actually ended up filling up my bottle at a stream (despite Hillary's warnings that I would get parasites. It's been a week, still no parasites and that water was darn good).
That's the trail... oi vey
A rock in the shape of a heart :)
Nature
A breathtaking view, even if it's a few hundred feet from the top
Later in the week we had to bring some family members up to upstate New York (we're not talking Albany or Syracuse here, we're talking borderline Canada, where some of the towns speak French) to retrieve their vehicle which had been being serviced for over a month. No one else in the family would do it, and what's family for if not to be there when you need them most? It was an extremely long day though, we started the journey at 8 am from where they were staying in MA and didn't get off the road until close to 11 pm that night. We took breaks for meals and stretches but mainly we just drove and drove... which is entirely too exhausting for my liking.
Over the weekend, Hillary and I went up to Maine to visit with her friend and her friend's boyfriend. It ended up that her friend's boyfriend's family was headed to the family cabin in the woods that weekend, so we tagged along and had a pretty awesome time. The cabin had no electricity or running water, it was mainly a place to sleep. There was an outhouse a bit away from the cabin. The cabin was entirely in the woods, surrounded by trees and a huge beautiful crystal clear lake bordered by mountains and rolling hills. There was no one around, no other campers and no cabins at all, just us, the sound of the water hitting the pebbles on the shore and the loons calling to each other. Hillary and I stayed in a tent in the woods and fell asleep to the loons and the crickets. It was wonderful to be unplugged for a while, to just enjoy being together and being surrounded by new friends and just relaxing for a bit. AND on the way home we stopped at LL Bean in Freeport, which was very cool, though super overwhelming. Still, a very cool store and definitely worth the experience. Give me the catalogue anyday though.
Now I'm mainly in London mode, trying to figure out what I need, what I have, what I can get when I'm there and what I should bring, etc. No big trips this weekend, except up to see my grandmother on Nantucket on Friday (which I'm not very comfortable with at the moment, since the Kennedys will be swarming the place and we'll have to avoid heavy traffic times at all cost) and to see some fireworks with Hill Saturday night. Summer is really starting to wind down now, and I can't say as though that makes me sad, though this is my last real summer of freedom. I'm so excited for adventure and the unknown, London will be a great adventure, I can hardly wait.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
A Visit From The Stork
The family reunion was this weekend, and it actually went very well. No major issues and everyone put on a happy face and avoided ripping heads off.
So on Friday I was packing my things to get ready for the weekend. We were scheduled to leave my house when Hillary got here from work (a 2 hour drive for her) and then be on our way, taking separate cars because there wasn't enough room in one car for everything. I get a phone call from Hillary half-way through the day saying that one of the feral cats at school (Hillary works at our college now) had kittens and the maintenance staff was giving them away. So I called my mother to see if we could bring one home, if and only if she could look after the kitten until January and we would bring the kitten to the apartment with us when I got back from London. The madre agreed, so Hillary went and got a kitten.
Possibly the worst mistake of our lives, though also the cutest investment ever. This was the tiniest kitten I had ever held. She is a calico, who loves to run around like a banshee and things fingers and toes are the coolest chew toys ever. We took her to the vet on Monday and they determined that she was between 6-8 weeks old, so the bottle we had been feeding her every 2-4 hours since Friday evening was unnecessary (she seemed to really enjoy the bottle though).
We didn't get very much sleep at all the first few nights with her in her pink rubbermade bin complete with blanket and catnip mouse. She wanted to be fed, then she wanted to play, then she wanted to go to the bathroom and then she wanted to sleep, but she wanted to sleep on our chests. So we took her to the vet and they determined her age and told us what we should be feeding her, so we started her on a wet food/formula combo in a bowl and she took to it pretty much right away. I put her in a litterbox that same day and she did her business in the litterbox immediately, she's so damn smart.
Little did we know that when the vets gave her the de-wormer (fearing that, since her mom was a feral cat, she would have worms and fleas and earmites) she would have explosive diarreah for two days straight. She actually didn't have worms, she was just bloated with a big baby belly, and she didn't have fleas or ear mites either. She got a clean bill of health and she is a perfectly healthy and happy little kitten.
At this point, she is eating dry food and loving it, drinking water by itself (finally!) and going in the litterbox to do her business instead of all over the cat carrier where she sleeps. Right now she is attacking my laptop. It'll be sad to leave her in September, just like it will be sad to leave my cat and my dog and my rabbits. Hopefully she will quickly be able to defend herself against my five cats, the dog loves cats and will probably just lick her and annoy the hell out of her.
In January, she can move into the apartment with Hillary and I and we can be a happy little family. The kitten, whose name is Julie Andrews (as my six year old niece exclaimed when I explained who Julie Andrews is: "Fraulein Maria!") will be spayed probably sometime in midwinter, she'll be an indoor cat and she'll never be declawed as long as I have a say in the matter because small animals need a way to defend themselves. Hopefully she'll be a good pest-hunter in the new apartment.
So on Friday I was packing my things to get ready for the weekend. We were scheduled to leave my house when Hillary got here from work (a 2 hour drive for her) and then be on our way, taking separate cars because there wasn't enough room in one car for everything. I get a phone call from Hillary half-way through the day saying that one of the feral cats at school (Hillary works at our college now) had kittens and the maintenance staff was giving them away. So I called my mother to see if we could bring one home, if and only if she could look after the kitten until January and we would bring the kitten to the apartment with us when I got back from London. The madre agreed, so Hillary went and got a kitten.
Possibly the worst mistake of our lives, though also the cutest investment ever. This was the tiniest kitten I had ever held. She is a calico, who loves to run around like a banshee and things fingers and toes are the coolest chew toys ever. We took her to the vet on Monday and they determined that she was between 6-8 weeks old, so the bottle we had been feeding her every 2-4 hours since Friday evening was unnecessary (she seemed to really enjoy the bottle though).
We didn't get very much sleep at all the first few nights with her in her pink rubbermade bin complete with blanket and catnip mouse. She wanted to be fed, then she wanted to play, then she wanted to go to the bathroom and then she wanted to sleep, but she wanted to sleep on our chests. So we took her to the vet and they determined her age and told us what we should be feeding her, so we started her on a wet food/formula combo in a bowl and she took to it pretty much right away. I put her in a litterbox that same day and she did her business in the litterbox immediately, she's so damn smart.
Little did we know that when the vets gave her the de-wormer (fearing that, since her mom was a feral cat, she would have worms and fleas and earmites) she would have explosive diarreah for two days straight. She actually didn't have worms, she was just bloated with a big baby belly, and she didn't have fleas or ear mites either. She got a clean bill of health and she is a perfectly healthy and happy little kitten.
At this point, she is eating dry food and loving it, drinking water by itself (finally!) and going in the litterbox to do her business instead of all over the cat carrier where she sleeps. Right now she is attacking my laptop. It'll be sad to leave her in September, just like it will be sad to leave my cat and my dog and my rabbits. Hopefully she will quickly be able to defend herself against my five cats, the dog loves cats and will probably just lick her and annoy the hell out of her.
In January, she can move into the apartment with Hillary and I and we can be a happy little family. The kitten, whose name is Julie Andrews (as my six year old niece exclaimed when I explained who Julie Andrews is: "Fraulein Maria!") will be spayed probably sometime in midwinter, she'll be an indoor cat and she'll never be declawed as long as I have a say in the matter because small animals need a way to defend themselves. Hopefully she'll be a good pest-hunter in the new apartment.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Harry Potter et cetera
Life is quiet at home for the most part, and it's nice to be around my friends (and Hillary when I can) and spice things up a bit.
Last night we went to the midnight showing of Harry Potter and the Halfblood Prince.
SPOILERS AHEAD: for those of you who haven't read the book(s).
I am not necessarily an avid Harry Potter fan. I enjoy the movies and there was a time when I enjoyed the books, but I was always more of a Narnia kid and when I discovered Lord of the Rings I was in heaven. There's just something about those books and movies. Harry Potter is a little too... realistic for my taste. The first few books and movies were fantastic (in the truest sense of the word) and magical, but as the kids get older I get less interested in the whole Harry Potter phenomenon. I guess maybe I am attracted to the innocence and mystery present in the books when Harry and his friends are young, just like the Pevensies in Narnia, and the perpetual innocence of Middle Earth (though that's a debate for another day). I don't like the hormonal teenage crap in the new Harry Potter movies and if I had read past book 3 I'm sure I would have eventually been turned off by it.
That being said, though, the movies are very well done and for people like me who crave to be taken to another world when we step into the pale darkness of a movie theatre, the Harry Potter movies deliver. I don't like the darkness present in the movies, but I understand that Harry is experiencing darker and darker stuff as he ages.
SPOILER: Though I haven't read the book, I was aware that Dumbledore died in the 7th book. Personally, I'll be more sad to see Hedwig the owl die in the 8th movie, but there was this sense of "what now?" when Snape killed Dumbledore. The tears and sniffles in the theatre definitely speaks volumes for how attached the fans are to the characters, both in the book and in living colour on the screen. J.K. Rowling and the actors and filmmakers responsible for the Harry Potter craze did a wonderful job creating a fan base and giving their fans what they want and what they crave.
So I can't really say "Oh the movie was true to the book, it was awesome!" or "The movie completely went against the plot of the book, terrible," but I can say that, for a movie, it was very well done and if you're going to see it and you're a die hard Harry Potter fan, be sure to differentiate between the books and the movies, they are two separate art forms in their own rights and deserve to be looked at as such. I heard far too much negativity last night, just enjoy the movie.
Or stay home and watch Lord of the Rings (cause it's soooo much better :D).
Last night we went to the midnight showing of Harry Potter and the Halfblood Prince.
SPOILERS AHEAD: for those of you who haven't read the book(s).
I am not necessarily an avid Harry Potter fan. I enjoy the movies and there was a time when I enjoyed the books, but I was always more of a Narnia kid and when I discovered Lord of the Rings I was in heaven. There's just something about those books and movies. Harry Potter is a little too... realistic for my taste. The first few books and movies were fantastic (in the truest sense of the word) and magical, but as the kids get older I get less interested in the whole Harry Potter phenomenon. I guess maybe I am attracted to the innocence and mystery present in the books when Harry and his friends are young, just like the Pevensies in Narnia, and the perpetual innocence of Middle Earth (though that's a debate for another day). I don't like the hormonal teenage crap in the new Harry Potter movies and if I had read past book 3 I'm sure I would have eventually been turned off by it.
That being said, though, the movies are very well done and for people like me who crave to be taken to another world when we step into the pale darkness of a movie theatre, the Harry Potter movies deliver. I don't like the darkness present in the movies, but I understand that Harry is experiencing darker and darker stuff as he ages.
SPOILER: Though I haven't read the book, I was aware that Dumbledore died in the 7th book. Personally, I'll be more sad to see Hedwig the owl die in the 8th movie, but there was this sense of "what now?" when Snape killed Dumbledore. The tears and sniffles in the theatre definitely speaks volumes for how attached the fans are to the characters, both in the book and in living colour on the screen. J.K. Rowling and the actors and filmmakers responsible for the Harry Potter craze did a wonderful job creating a fan base and giving their fans what they want and what they crave.
So I can't really say "Oh the movie was true to the book, it was awesome!" or "The movie completely went against the plot of the book, terrible," but I can say that, for a movie, it was very well done and if you're going to see it and you're a die hard Harry Potter fan, be sure to differentiate between the books and the movies, they are two separate art forms in their own rights and deserve to be looked at as such. I heard far too much negativity last night, just enjoy the movie.
Or stay home and watch Lord of the Rings (cause it's soooo much better :D).
Thursday, July 9, 2009
The View From The Top
My friend Molly and I climbed Talcott (sp?) mountain today all the way up to the tower, quite not meaning to do so (we were searching for a farm in Bloomfield where we start volunteering next week and happened upon this nice looking mountain...). It was exhausting to say the least, but it was so beautiful and so worth the view from the top. Watching the mountains and rolling hills kiss the foamy grey clouds. The splotches of sunlight sreaming down into the green open fields, pooling on the earth like liquid gold. Reaching the top is always the greatest feeling in the world, and I think it's quickly becoming something I crave as I hike more and more this summer. Conquering Connecticut and Massachusetts one mountain at a time. There's nothing like relying on yourself, your own legs, your own lungs and your own will power to accomplish anything and everything.
Tomorrow I pack my things up to spend Friday night and Saturday day with Hillary, Saturday night, all of Sunday, and Monday day at school (we're having a team building retreat for the executive board members of multicultural clubs... yippee). I'll most likely be blogging up a storm since I'll be at school, all by my onesies, bored out of my mind and hating my life.
Oh and by the by... I GOT AN A IN BUSINESS STATISTICS II!!!! Suck on that former stats prof from my real college. YESSS!
Tomorrow I pack my things up to spend Friday night and Saturday day with Hillary, Saturday night, all of Sunday, and Monday day at school (we're having a team building retreat for the executive board members of multicultural clubs... yippee). I'll most likely be blogging up a storm since I'll be at school, all by my onesies, bored out of my mind and hating my life.
Oh and by the by... I GOT AN A IN BUSINESS STATISTICS II!!!! Suck on that former stats prof from my real college. YESSS!
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
I (Don't) Wanna Be Sedated
So I went to the oral surgeon yesterday and we discussed my options:
Option 1: No surgery, but I have to have a full head X-ray every 2 years to make sure that nothing is infected and the tooth on the bottom left isn't hitting a major nerve.
Option 2: Have surgery, take a xanex prior to surgery (to "put me in a good place" as the Dr. put it), no food or non-clear liquids past midnight the night before, have nitrus oxide and novacane during surgery and intense pain killers after.
Option 3: Have surgery, have an IV, nitrus oxide and novacane.
Option 4: Have surgery, go to hospital and go completely under, monitored by an anesthesiologist.
I want option one, but after discussing it with mum and the oral surgeon we decided upon option 2. I told her I'm a psychology major and I am morally opposed to drugs like xanex (if I weren't I would be pre-med right now going into psychiatry) and she said she'd be more than willing to do the surgery with just novacane, but my mother seemed to think that was insane (and I'm inclined to think it is too) so we're getting the insurance quote with all of the bells and whistles.
My surgery date is December 22 at 9 am, two days after my return from London, two days before Christmas, and a week and two days before I move into the new apartment with Hillary. Hopefully I'll be able to con some of my friends in to helping us move into the new place because I have a feeling that, although I am going to put on a brave (albeit swollen) face, I am going to be borderline useless in moving heavy furniture or doing much besides complaining. Good times will surely be had by all this coming Christmas and New Years.
This is me holding my new baby niece for the first time *heart swells with joy.* I like to call it "Safe in Auntie Rachel's Pasty White Arms in the Dead of Summer," it has a real ring to it.
This is Hill holding the new baby for the first time :) loveee the gay shirt Hill. Should get a onesie for the new kid "I <3 my two Aunties" next time we're in P-Town.
And to give any of you who don't reside in New England (more specifically Connecticut and Massachusetts because I'm relatively unfamiliar with the weather patterns in the other N.E. states) an indication of what we've been dealing with lately in terms of weather, this is what mother nature was giving us while it was raining, right after it had stopped torentially downpouring, right after it had been a foggy evening, right after it had been a beautiful sunny skied afternoon right after it had been a misty overcast morning:
Let's hope for warmth and sun so Auntie Rachel can go swimming and start working on that farmer's tan. That sunset is very deceptive, though. Almost makes you want to like the place :P
Option 1: No surgery, but I have to have a full head X-ray every 2 years to make sure that nothing is infected and the tooth on the bottom left isn't hitting a major nerve.
Option 2: Have surgery, take a xanex prior to surgery (to "put me in a good place" as the Dr. put it), no food or non-clear liquids past midnight the night before, have nitrus oxide and novacane during surgery and intense pain killers after.
Option 3: Have surgery, have an IV, nitrus oxide and novacane.
Option 4: Have surgery, go to hospital and go completely under, monitored by an anesthesiologist.
I want option one, but after discussing it with mum and the oral surgeon we decided upon option 2. I told her I'm a psychology major and I am morally opposed to drugs like xanex (if I weren't I would be pre-med right now going into psychiatry) and she said she'd be more than willing to do the surgery with just novacane, but my mother seemed to think that was insane (and I'm inclined to think it is too) so we're getting the insurance quote with all of the bells and whistles.
My surgery date is December 22 at 9 am, two days after my return from London, two days before Christmas, and a week and two days before I move into the new apartment with Hillary. Hopefully I'll be able to con some of my friends in to helping us move into the new place because I have a feeling that, although I am going to put on a brave (albeit swollen) face, I am going to be borderline useless in moving heavy furniture or doing much besides complaining. Good times will surely be had by all this coming Christmas and New Years.
This is me holding my new baby niece for the first time *heart swells with joy.* I like to call it "Safe in Auntie Rachel's Pasty White Arms in the Dead of Summer," it has a real ring to it.
This is Hill holding the new baby for the first time :) loveee the gay shirt Hill. Should get a onesie for the new kid "I <3 my two Aunties" next time we're in P-Town.
And to give any of you who don't reside in New England (more specifically Connecticut and Massachusetts because I'm relatively unfamiliar with the weather patterns in the other N.E. states) an indication of what we've been dealing with lately in terms of weather, this is what mother nature was giving us while it was raining, right after it had stopped torentially downpouring, right after it had been a foggy evening, right after it had been a beautiful sunny skied afternoon right after it had been a misty overcast morning:
Let's hope for warmth and sun so Auntie Rachel can go swimming and start working on that farmer's tan. That sunset is very deceptive, though. Almost makes you want to like the place :P
Monday, July 6, 2009
For When I Am Weak, Then I Am Strong
Met the new baby today, she is absolutely gorgeous and hopefully pictures will be coming shortly (I forgot my camera and had to rely on Hill and she can't upload them until tomorrow, alas). She's such a good baby too, she sleeps all the time and she isn't very fussy (unlike her brother and sister were when they were infants, oi). The other kids seem to be doing well with her, so everything is right with the world for the time being :)
I have a consultation with an oral surgeon regarding my wisdom teeth tomorrow. They aren't really coming in (that we can tell) but they are a bit painful and the one of the top right is coming in at a funny angle (it's jutting out to my cheek, bad news bears) and both of them have no tooth opposite them to stop them from taking over my mouth, so basically they have got to go. The concensus is, they should probably go in this country and not when I am gallavanting around Europe for a semester. So tomorrow the surgeon will hopefully say, no worries no surgeury you'll be fine, cross your fingers for me at 3:30 tomorrow afternoon please.
This was one of the readings from church last week, I thought it was particularly appropriate because the "thorn in the flesh" that St. Paul references can be taken in many different contexts. However, the message is the same no matter what your "thorn in the flesh" might be. God gives us thorns in order to make us weak, because when we are weak He is most strong and most relied upon. If we were all strong and happy and unquestioning, God wouldn't need to exist because everything would be perfect. God exists to make sure that we can handle our weaknesses, and to become better people as a result of our weaknesses. Embrace your weaknesses, they are truly what make you strong.
2 Cor. 12:7-10 "And because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given unto me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, in order to keep me from exalting myself. Concerning this I entreated the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, then, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Thus, I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong."
I have a consultation with an oral surgeon regarding my wisdom teeth tomorrow. They aren't really coming in (that we can tell) but they are a bit painful and the one of the top right is coming in at a funny angle (it's jutting out to my cheek, bad news bears) and both of them have no tooth opposite them to stop them from taking over my mouth, so basically they have got to go. The concensus is, they should probably go in this country and not when I am gallavanting around Europe for a semester. So tomorrow the surgeon will hopefully say, no worries no surgeury you'll be fine, cross your fingers for me at 3:30 tomorrow afternoon please.
This was one of the readings from church last week, I thought it was particularly appropriate because the "thorn in the flesh" that St. Paul references can be taken in many different contexts. However, the message is the same no matter what your "thorn in the flesh" might be. God gives us thorns in order to make us weak, because when we are weak He is most strong and most relied upon. If we were all strong and happy and unquestioning, God wouldn't need to exist because everything would be perfect. God exists to make sure that we can handle our weaknesses, and to become better people as a result of our weaknesses. Embrace your weaknesses, they are truly what make you strong.
2 Cor. 12:7-10 "And because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given unto me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, in order to keep me from exalting myself. Concerning this I entreated the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, then, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Thus, I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong."
Sunday, June 14, 2009
The Weekend From Hell
This was truly the worst weekend of my life and the worst birthday of my entire life. Worse than my ninth birthday, which was a terrible one because my father had died the November before my birthday and he had promised me he would make it to my ninth birthday. But I'm not bitter.
So I was home Friday afternoon when my mother and Naveen came home from work. I had been having a pretty horrible day, mainly because I was just down in the dumps and really would have rather been left alone. So I was carrying my dog downstairs, because Naveen is afraid of dogs and Puppy would have jumped all over him, so I had my arms full and I didn't really say hello to anyone, just because I didn't really care too much.
So I did my stuff, fed the dog, changed my clothes because we were going out to a fancy dinner, and went back to the living room. Then Hillary pulled in to the driveway from her 2 hour drive to CT straight from work and I went out to greet her. I wasn't being especially friendly with her just because I was feeling not myself. So I went inside then Hillary went inside and then we went up to my room so we could change (I wanted to change my shirt for the 15,000th time) and my mother followed us up and began berating me for being "rude" to Naveen. She basically told me that the people at work are rude to him and he felt as though he didn't belong here and that he was unwelcome because of my attitude.
So I went downstairs and my mother was still yelling about it, even though I wasn't being disrespectful of Naveen I just wasn't being myself. When I got downstairs my mother put Naveen on the spot and made him basically tell me how he was feeling. So I got up and went outside for a thought. I was just sitting out there when my mother went outside and continued to bitch at me more. I told her to go to dinner without me.
Then Hillary was sent outside to retrieve me, and I told her I just wanted to sit there and to be left alone, that was all I wanted. So my mother went back outside and I could smell a fight so I told Hillary to make herself scarce. So my mom and I fought some more, and she went inside, but not before telling me that if I didn't go inside in 10 minutes, Hillary had to leave. So Hill went outside so tell me my mother was making her leave, and I said fine I'll go with you. So we went inside and started to pack up our things when my mother burst into my room and screamed at Hillary to "leave her house" and Hillary quickly escaped from my room with her things. My mother slammed the door behind her and I was trapped in my room. I tried to get passed my mother, and I eventually did but not before my mother had broken one of my fingernails in half causing me to bleed everywhere and had choked me so I had red marks all around my neck and I was gasping.
So I grabbed my asthma meds and ran outside to find Hill sobbing on the phone with her mother. We got in her car and drove to a parking lot where my best friend met us and we told her what was going on. Hillary's mom was adament that Hillary drive home immediately and leave me. So Hillary drove me home and she and Kate waited on a side street while I talked to my mother.
My mother apologized and realized what she did was incredibly wrong, too little too late but an apology is an apology. I called Hillary to try to get her to come and discuss things with my mother but she refused and promptly drove away.
At this point I was beside myself because I had no clue what I had done to deserve any of this. I met Hillary in a parking lot with Kate again and I begged her to just hear my mother out, but she refused and said that until my mother and I got help for our issues, we were threw. And she left me there, sobbing. When I needed her the most, she wasn't there for me. The most unforgiveable and devastating part of that night, my twentieth birthday, was that the person I love the most couldn't even be there when I needed her.
So I went home and curled up in a ball, on my twentieth birthday. I couldn't sleep at all that night, and then Hillary called me at four am. We talked and decided to meet at the Peace Abbey in Sherborn, MA (a little over two hour drive for me) at noon. So we did, and Hillary apologized for abandoning me when I needed her most. We made amends and decided we do love each other and we are willing to do whatever it takes to be together.
So we decided to go get some lunch, and we drove back to school where we would consolidate cars and continue on from there. I guess on the way to school Hillary called her mother and told her we had patched things up and everything was okay again when Hillary's mom said that I am not allowed at their house, she is not allowed at my house and if she finds out that we are seeing each other Hillary would be kicked out of their house. Hillary was obviously devastated.
So she went home and went to a friend's house for the night. She went back today and her mother gave her the same ultimatum (backed up by her father) and she decided to leave her home, to take her things, and to move in with a friend until January when she and I are supposed to move in together.
Where I am right now:
She is adament about my mother and I getting help to resolve or come closer to resolving our issues together. What Hillary will never understand is that my mother and I love each other very much, and we have many unresolved issues (as many child parent relationships tend to be).
At this point in my life, I am living under my mother's roof. I am leaving for London in September and when I come back I will be home for a week before I move in to my own apartment, where I will be living until or beyond graduate school. I will never be living in this house again. This house is a crazy environment for me and I dislike it very much here, but I love my mother more than oxygen. This house is no longer my home, it is simple where I was raised and where I have to stay if I want to remain financially afloat for the time being. My mother and I get along much better when we aren't under the same roof.
There is a lot of history between my mother and I, we have many unresolved issues regarding my father's death and a lot of issues regarding me growing up and fleeing the nest so to speak. Hillary seems to have no compassion for the fact that my mother is having a hard time dealing with everything right now.
But she is my mother and I love her and I will stand by her to the death.
I can find another girlfriend, I can find someone else to provide with love and affection and happiness, but I can never find another mother. She is mine and she is all I have in this world.
I will not be told what to do and I will not be handed ultimatums or bullied into making decisions. That may work for Hillary's mother but it does not work for me and it does not work on me. I am my own woman, and so is my mother.
And so I am here, heartbroken, because the whole world is seemingly against me and I did nothing to deserve the treatment I received this weekend. I really truly wish that I could curl up in a ball and just be left alone and never have to face any of this mess that I did nothing to deserve.
Perhaps I'm not cut out for this. I suppose only time will tell. But until time tells, I am here, and I am devastated and alone and lost. If there is ever a time I needed to get down on my knees and pray for an answer, it is now.
I am far more realistic than Hillary's mother in that I know that bad things happen, and sometimes for no reason, but that life always goes on and forgiveness makes the heart so much healthier than to harp away and continue to be angry. I'm not angry anymore.
So I was home Friday afternoon when my mother and Naveen came home from work. I had been having a pretty horrible day, mainly because I was just down in the dumps and really would have rather been left alone. So I was carrying my dog downstairs, because Naveen is afraid of dogs and Puppy would have jumped all over him, so I had my arms full and I didn't really say hello to anyone, just because I didn't really care too much.
So I did my stuff, fed the dog, changed my clothes because we were going out to a fancy dinner, and went back to the living room. Then Hillary pulled in to the driveway from her 2 hour drive to CT straight from work and I went out to greet her. I wasn't being especially friendly with her just because I was feeling not myself. So I went inside then Hillary went inside and then we went up to my room so we could change (I wanted to change my shirt for the 15,000th time) and my mother followed us up and began berating me for being "rude" to Naveen. She basically told me that the people at work are rude to him and he felt as though he didn't belong here and that he was unwelcome because of my attitude.
So I went downstairs and my mother was still yelling about it, even though I wasn't being disrespectful of Naveen I just wasn't being myself. When I got downstairs my mother put Naveen on the spot and made him basically tell me how he was feeling. So I got up and went outside for a thought. I was just sitting out there when my mother went outside and continued to bitch at me more. I told her to go to dinner without me.
Then Hillary was sent outside to retrieve me, and I told her I just wanted to sit there and to be left alone, that was all I wanted. So my mother went back outside and I could smell a fight so I told Hillary to make herself scarce. So my mom and I fought some more, and she went inside, but not before telling me that if I didn't go inside in 10 minutes, Hillary had to leave. So Hill went outside so tell me my mother was making her leave, and I said fine I'll go with you. So we went inside and started to pack up our things when my mother burst into my room and screamed at Hillary to "leave her house" and Hillary quickly escaped from my room with her things. My mother slammed the door behind her and I was trapped in my room. I tried to get passed my mother, and I eventually did but not before my mother had broken one of my fingernails in half causing me to bleed everywhere and had choked me so I had red marks all around my neck and I was gasping.
So I grabbed my asthma meds and ran outside to find Hill sobbing on the phone with her mother. We got in her car and drove to a parking lot where my best friend met us and we told her what was going on. Hillary's mom was adament that Hillary drive home immediately and leave me. So Hillary drove me home and she and Kate waited on a side street while I talked to my mother.
My mother apologized and realized what she did was incredibly wrong, too little too late but an apology is an apology. I called Hillary to try to get her to come and discuss things with my mother but she refused and promptly drove away.
At this point I was beside myself because I had no clue what I had done to deserve any of this. I met Hillary in a parking lot with Kate again and I begged her to just hear my mother out, but she refused and said that until my mother and I got help for our issues, we were threw. And she left me there, sobbing. When I needed her the most, she wasn't there for me. The most unforgiveable and devastating part of that night, my twentieth birthday, was that the person I love the most couldn't even be there when I needed her.
So I went home and curled up in a ball, on my twentieth birthday. I couldn't sleep at all that night, and then Hillary called me at four am. We talked and decided to meet at the Peace Abbey in Sherborn, MA (a little over two hour drive for me) at noon. So we did, and Hillary apologized for abandoning me when I needed her most. We made amends and decided we do love each other and we are willing to do whatever it takes to be together.
So we decided to go get some lunch, and we drove back to school where we would consolidate cars and continue on from there. I guess on the way to school Hillary called her mother and told her we had patched things up and everything was okay again when Hillary's mom said that I am not allowed at their house, she is not allowed at my house and if she finds out that we are seeing each other Hillary would be kicked out of their house. Hillary was obviously devastated.
So she went home and went to a friend's house for the night. She went back today and her mother gave her the same ultimatum (backed up by her father) and she decided to leave her home, to take her things, and to move in with a friend until January when she and I are supposed to move in together.
Where I am right now:
She is adament about my mother and I getting help to resolve or come closer to resolving our issues together. What Hillary will never understand is that my mother and I love each other very much, and we have many unresolved issues (as many child parent relationships tend to be).
At this point in my life, I am living under my mother's roof. I am leaving for London in September and when I come back I will be home for a week before I move in to my own apartment, where I will be living until or beyond graduate school. I will never be living in this house again. This house is a crazy environment for me and I dislike it very much here, but I love my mother more than oxygen. This house is no longer my home, it is simple where I was raised and where I have to stay if I want to remain financially afloat for the time being. My mother and I get along much better when we aren't under the same roof.
There is a lot of history between my mother and I, we have many unresolved issues regarding my father's death and a lot of issues regarding me growing up and fleeing the nest so to speak. Hillary seems to have no compassion for the fact that my mother is having a hard time dealing with everything right now.
But she is my mother and I love her and I will stand by her to the death.
I can find another girlfriend, I can find someone else to provide with love and affection and happiness, but I can never find another mother. She is mine and she is all I have in this world.
I will not be told what to do and I will not be handed ultimatums or bullied into making decisions. That may work for Hillary's mother but it does not work for me and it does not work on me. I am my own woman, and so is my mother.
And so I am here, heartbroken, because the whole world is seemingly against me and I did nothing to deserve the treatment I received this weekend. I really truly wish that I could curl up in a ball and just be left alone and never have to face any of this mess that I did nothing to deserve.
Perhaps I'm not cut out for this. I suppose only time will tell. But until time tells, I am here, and I am devastated and alone and lost. If there is ever a time I needed to get down on my knees and pray for an answer, it is now.
I am far more realistic than Hillary's mother in that I know that bad things happen, and sometimes for no reason, but that life always goes on and forgiveness makes the heart so much healthier than to harp away and continue to be angry. I'm not angry anymore.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Newport Folk Festival 50!! Oh, and six months :)
Imagine, if you will, the most ear piercing, high pitched squeel of glee you can possibly imagine. That's the story of my life right now. I got an email saying I can get discounted tickets to the Newport Folk Festival, the first weekend in August, where JOAN BAEZ WILL BE PLAYING *insert another shriek*.
I just... I think I may have died when I read that Joan Baez, Pete Seeger AND Judy Collins will all be there. Just thinking about it gives me palpitations. I'm totally going, whether I go by myself or with other human beings. Probably the closest I'll ever get to utter, pure bliss in my whole life.
Oh, and today is my six month monthaversary with Hillary, heres to many more monthaversaries to come :)
Those are our serious faces... for serious.
I just... I think I may have died when I read that Joan Baez, Pete Seeger AND Judy Collins will all be there. Just thinking about it gives me palpitations. I'm totally going, whether I go by myself or with other human beings. Probably the closest I'll ever get to utter, pure bliss in my whole life.
Oh, and today is my six month monthaversary with Hillary, heres to many more monthaversaries to come :)
Those are our serious faces... for serious.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Schools (Not) Out for Summer
Today was my first day of my summer statistics course, and it actually went very well. It's two hours a day, four days a week, for a month. Not bad, not bad at all.
If I want to graduate in May 2011 I need to finish the statistics course that I already started. It's kind of a long and convoluted story, so I'll give you the brief version. And please, don't judge me because I know that a lot of students use the excuse that the professor is bitch or the professor hates them, and in this case both of those things are true and did happen to me. It's not an excuse at all, it's simply a fact.
I took AP statistics during my senior year in high school. Now, to get into an AP course you need permission from previous teachers, often you need to take an entrance exam, and you need to have taken all of the pre-requs. I did fairly well in AP stats, but I didn't score high enough on the AP Stats Exam for it to count as my statistics requirement for my college. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, because I need stats for my psychology major and a lot of the research aspects of psychology draw heavily from statistics. Anywho, moving on.
I took Stats I Fall 2008, and did fairly miserably (but well enough to move on to Stats II). I got As on all of the exams (all 3 of them), did the homework assignments, etc. but absolutely bombed the final (which speaks volumes for my ability of lackthereof to take finals). Such is life, so I moved on to Stats II.
As it turns out, the professor got the impression that I was, more or less, taking up space and air in her classroom and proceeded to ignore me (when she would address psychology majors, of which there were only 2, myself included, in a class of about 15, she would purposely not address me), to take points off of exams and assignments for arbitrary reasons (I didn't "word" an answer to her liking so she would take an automatic 20 points off my exam, when my answer was similar to the answers of other students and my math was completely correct).
So I sent her an email and basically told her how I was feeling, that I felt like I was being treated unfairly and also that I felt that my situation was hopeless. She emailed me back and confirmed that she did think I was "unresponsive" in class (she cited some occasions during first semester when my eyelids would get heavy and I would look like I wasn't paying attention, for example THE DAY AFTER OBAMA WAS ELECTED sdf;ldhrewnc;welfdsfsdlf) and that she was sorry that I took it to heart.
So I emailed my advisor, at this point we had taken 3 of 4 exams (not including the final) and asked her what I should do, seeing as my situation was borderline hopeless. I had a 100 on the first test and a 50-something on the second test and a 50-something on the third test but I hadn't done the makeup test yet so the grade might have changed. My advisor informed me that it was the last day to drop the class, that she was out for the day but she has informed the psych department, my class advisor, the student success center and registrar to be looking for me (basically it was her suggestion that I drop the class immediately).
So I scrambled around, crying because I felt like a failure, and got the drop class form signed thanks to the speedy work and kindness of the staff at my school, no thanks to my c*nt of a professor.
I'm taking the second section of statistics at a university near where I live, totally different scene than I'm accustomed to but I'll get over it (I go to a college in the woods, 12 miles out of Boston, where I know all of my classmates names/majors and probably what kind of trouble they were getting in to last night, I don't know anyone in my class in CT and none of them know me... ahh the freedom of anonimity). At least my professor doesn't hate me yet, so maybe he'll grade me fairly and impartially and I'll be treated with respect this time. For the most part, though, this class will be a review for me because I've now taken statistics for almost 2 full years, and I basically know it like the back of my hand by now but now is my chance to prove that I know it, I can do the math, and I can give the professor what he wants (because he doesn't overtly disdain me).
So that's where I am today, and tomorrow, and the next day, and every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday until June 25. I at least have some things to look forward to, like Hillary's grad party this weekend (Hill graduated from college May 17, poor dear), Hillary visiting next weekend, my 20th birthday (oh my GAWD) June 12, me visiting Hill the following weekend, my baby niece is predicted to be born the first weekend in July (here's hoping for July 4!) and so on and so forth until I get on a plane bound for London on September 2. Should be a good summer :)
If I want to graduate in May 2011 I need to finish the statistics course that I already started. It's kind of a long and convoluted story, so I'll give you the brief version. And please, don't judge me because I know that a lot of students use the excuse that the professor is bitch or the professor hates them, and in this case both of those things are true and did happen to me. It's not an excuse at all, it's simply a fact.
I took AP statistics during my senior year in high school. Now, to get into an AP course you need permission from previous teachers, often you need to take an entrance exam, and you need to have taken all of the pre-requs. I did fairly well in AP stats, but I didn't score high enough on the AP Stats Exam for it to count as my statistics requirement for my college. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, because I need stats for my psychology major and a lot of the research aspects of psychology draw heavily from statistics. Anywho, moving on.
I took Stats I Fall 2008, and did fairly miserably (but well enough to move on to Stats II). I got As on all of the exams (all 3 of them), did the homework assignments, etc. but absolutely bombed the final (which speaks volumes for my ability of lackthereof to take finals). Such is life, so I moved on to Stats II.
As it turns out, the professor got the impression that I was, more or less, taking up space and air in her classroom and proceeded to ignore me (when she would address psychology majors, of which there were only 2, myself included, in a class of about 15, she would purposely not address me), to take points off of exams and assignments for arbitrary reasons (I didn't "word" an answer to her liking so she would take an automatic 20 points off my exam, when my answer was similar to the answers of other students and my math was completely correct).
So I sent her an email and basically told her how I was feeling, that I felt like I was being treated unfairly and also that I felt that my situation was hopeless. She emailed me back and confirmed that she did think I was "unresponsive" in class (she cited some occasions during first semester when my eyelids would get heavy and I would look like I wasn't paying attention, for example THE DAY AFTER OBAMA WAS ELECTED sdf;ldhrewnc;welfdsfsdlf) and that she was sorry that I took it to heart.
So I emailed my advisor, at this point we had taken 3 of 4 exams (not including the final) and asked her what I should do, seeing as my situation was borderline hopeless. I had a 100 on the first test and a 50-something on the second test and a 50-something on the third test but I hadn't done the makeup test yet so the grade might have changed. My advisor informed me that it was the last day to drop the class, that she was out for the day but she has informed the psych department, my class advisor, the student success center and registrar to be looking for me (basically it was her suggestion that I drop the class immediately).
So I scrambled around, crying because I felt like a failure, and got the drop class form signed thanks to the speedy work and kindness of the staff at my school, no thanks to my c*nt of a professor.
I'm taking the second section of statistics at a university near where I live, totally different scene than I'm accustomed to but I'll get over it (I go to a college in the woods, 12 miles out of Boston, where I know all of my classmates names/majors and probably what kind of trouble they were getting in to last night, I don't know anyone in my class in CT and none of them know me... ahh the freedom of anonimity). At least my professor doesn't hate me yet, so maybe he'll grade me fairly and impartially and I'll be treated with respect this time. For the most part, though, this class will be a review for me because I've now taken statistics for almost 2 full years, and I basically know it like the back of my hand by now but now is my chance to prove that I know it, I can do the math, and I can give the professor what he wants (because he doesn't overtly disdain me).
So that's where I am today, and tomorrow, and the next day, and every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday until June 25. I at least have some things to look forward to, like Hillary's grad party this weekend (Hill graduated from college May 17, poor dear), Hillary visiting next weekend, my 20th birthday (oh my GAWD) June 12, me visiting Hill the following weekend, my baby niece is predicted to be born the first weekend in July (here's hoping for July 4!) and so on and so forth until I get on a plane bound for London on September 2. Should be a good summer :)
Friday, May 22, 2009
Home Again Home Again
I haven't even been home for a week and I (with the help of the best pal ever, Molly) have laid fresh mulch (9 bags so far, still need about 10 more), dug up all the brush from underneath the trees and bushes in the front yard, moved all the brush to the far back yard (not the easiest thing to do) and put together a new fire pit.
And I managed to get head to toe poison oak.
Now, I was a girl scout, I know what poison oak, ivy and sumac look like. I saw them all as I was moving brush into the back, I even saw the rouge poison ivy in the front, nestled behind the rhododendron. I took special care to avoid them. And I am still covered in poison oak. I guess I just have to chaulk it up to fate. I get poison oak probably twice every summer, never especially bad (though I have had it around my eyes before, no fun), but always spread all over my body. I guess that's my lesson for not using gloves when I work outside, alas.
I did manage to finish off my sophomore year with a 3.6 (I got a B+ in Research Methods, holy crap!), and now I can look forward to coasting through fall semester in London, with my two art courses, Shakespeare and dundundunnnn Cognitive Psych.
It's nice to be home I s'pose. My cat and dog are cuddled up together on the couch while I watch tv and do nothing for my last week of freedom before I start a summer course. I think it's funny that if I want to graduate with my class, even though I take more courses than I need to (last semester was the exception) and I'm technically more than a junior (but not quite a senior) I still have to take a summer course and if I weren't studying abroad there would be no way in hell I'd be graduating on time, simply because my school isn't offering the courses I need for my psych major and it's not even pretending to offer the courses I need for my English major.
Well, everything is going to fall in to place I'm sure. For the time being, I'm just itchy and uncomfortable, but glad to be home :)
And I managed to get head to toe poison oak.
Now, I was a girl scout, I know what poison oak, ivy and sumac look like. I saw them all as I was moving brush into the back, I even saw the rouge poison ivy in the front, nestled behind the rhododendron. I took special care to avoid them. And I am still covered in poison oak. I guess I just have to chaulk it up to fate. I get poison oak probably twice every summer, never especially bad (though I have had it around my eyes before, no fun), but always spread all over my body. I guess that's my lesson for not using gloves when I work outside, alas.
I did manage to finish off my sophomore year with a 3.6 (I got a B+ in Research Methods, holy crap!), and now I can look forward to coasting through fall semester in London, with my two art courses, Shakespeare and dundundunnnn Cognitive Psych.
It's nice to be home I s'pose. My cat and dog are cuddled up together on the couch while I watch tv and do nothing for my last week of freedom before I start a summer course. I think it's funny that if I want to graduate with my class, even though I take more courses than I need to (last semester was the exception) and I'm technically more than a junior (but not quite a senior) I still have to take a summer course and if I weren't studying abroad there would be no way in hell I'd be graduating on time, simply because my school isn't offering the courses I need for my psych major and it's not even pretending to offer the courses I need for my English major.
Well, everything is going to fall in to place I'm sure. For the time being, I'm just itchy and uncomfortable, but glad to be home :)
Saturday, November 29, 2008
The Catcher in the Rye
It's my last night at home over Thanksgiving break, and my first night back from Washington.
It was a great trip. I was dreading it for the most part but it turned out alright and we all had a good time and saw a lot of awesome stuff (D.C. really is a pretty amazing city).
There's nothing like knowing I have to go back in a few hours to make me feel like I never want to leave, and there is certainly nothing like reuniting with all of my best friends only to have them ripped away from me yet again. Scattered to the winds, all leading different lives.
I've never experienced anything like this before. I just want to hold them and never let them go and fight life away and fight terrible things away and fight grief and pain away so they never have to feel any of it. I've known grief and pain all my life. I've also known so much joy and so much happiness that you can't even imagine. I know if I hold them and never let them go, they won't experience the pain, but they also won't experience the joy. Which is why I let go when I hug them goodbye, and they go off into the world and they go off into the lives they are creating for themselves and they are happy. And sometimes there is pain and sometimes there is struggle, but the best we can do as friends is to be there for one and other. I hope I've been there for them enough, and I hope they know that no matter what, I am ALWAYS here for them. I will never forget about the people who loved me first.
Driving through town tonight I watched saw lawn chairs splayed out in driveways. Old men who smoke too much, who watch the years go by and listen to the trains die away in the distance. Young people who dream and know and do, who watch the summers fade to falls fade to winters and burst into springs. The lawn chairs never leave, nor do the old men, but the young people, like the train songs, fade into the distance and become a part of the town's memory. We have the distinct pleasure of being living memories, we dreamers and thinkers and doers. It is a great honour and a great burden.
I miss the summer breezes and the way the weeping cherry branches feel against pale cheeks and how the air is perfumed with the smell of azaeleas. I miss bare feet sweeping along the gravelly driveway, and bare heads sitting beneath the warm sun. I can't wait to sit in the lawn chairs again, like the old days, and talk nothing and eat strawberries and blackberries and blueberries. It's like time is stuck there for an hour or two, the town's memory hangs there and we're all young again and we're all great again and we will all achieve greatness and our hopes and our dreams are limitless.
A very happy late Thanksgiving to all and a very merry beginning to your holiday season.
It was a great trip. I was dreading it for the most part but it turned out alright and we all had a good time and saw a lot of awesome stuff (D.C. really is a pretty amazing city).
There's nothing like knowing I have to go back in a few hours to make me feel like I never want to leave, and there is certainly nothing like reuniting with all of my best friends only to have them ripped away from me yet again. Scattered to the winds, all leading different lives.
I've never experienced anything like this before. I just want to hold them and never let them go and fight life away and fight terrible things away and fight grief and pain away so they never have to feel any of it. I've known grief and pain all my life. I've also known so much joy and so much happiness that you can't even imagine. I know if I hold them and never let them go, they won't experience the pain, but they also won't experience the joy. Which is why I let go when I hug them goodbye, and they go off into the world and they go off into the lives they are creating for themselves and they are happy. And sometimes there is pain and sometimes there is struggle, but the best we can do as friends is to be there for one and other. I hope I've been there for them enough, and I hope they know that no matter what, I am ALWAYS here for them. I will never forget about the people who loved me first.
Driving through town tonight I watched saw lawn chairs splayed out in driveways. Old men who smoke too much, who watch the years go by and listen to the trains die away in the distance. Young people who dream and know and do, who watch the summers fade to falls fade to winters and burst into springs. The lawn chairs never leave, nor do the old men, but the young people, like the train songs, fade into the distance and become a part of the town's memory. We have the distinct pleasure of being living memories, we dreamers and thinkers and doers. It is a great honour and a great burden.
I miss the summer breezes and the way the weeping cherry branches feel against pale cheeks and how the air is perfumed with the smell of azaeleas. I miss bare feet sweeping along the gravelly driveway, and bare heads sitting beneath the warm sun. I can't wait to sit in the lawn chairs again, like the old days, and talk nothing and eat strawberries and blackberries and blueberries. It's like time is stuck there for an hour or two, the town's memory hangs there and we're all young again and we're all great again and we will all achieve greatness and our hopes and our dreams are limitless.
A very happy late Thanksgiving to all and a very merry beginning to your holiday season.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Camera Wonders
I just plugged my camera into my computer and I am overcome with a desire to post my fvourite pictures on my memory card. I have something near 900 pictures on the memory card, and these are my favorites by far!
Rob and I being amazing
The waves don't care if your bathing suit is coming off, but your best friends think it's HILARIOUS
Puppy!
My friends being awesome on a bridge in central park
Kitty
Kitty at one of our tea parties
Buns!
The pictures make me miss summer, but at least I have a piece of home here with me, and lots and lots of fabulous memories!
Rob and I being amazing
The waves don't care if your bathing suit is coming off, but your best friends think it's HILARIOUS
Puppy!
My friends being awesome on a bridge in central park
Kitty
Kitty at one of our tea parties
Buns!
The pictures make me miss summer, but at least I have a piece of home here with me, and lots and lots of fabulous memories!
Monday, August 4, 2008
Top of the Heap
One of my very best friends is turning 20 on Friday. He wants to go to New York, and well, gosh darn it, we're going to New York! It started out as just he and I, and now it has branched out to several of our mutual friends (definetly not complaining there, although I absolutely love one and one time with all of my friends, having a big group is always a lot of fun too). We're going in to Manhatten, taking the train to Union Station from New Haven and wandering around from there. Our first stop of the day will be the TKTS center, where hopefully we'll find a cheapish musical that we can go to, same day. Those of us who don't want to see a musical/can't afford it can wander around in a group and we'll all meet up later for a really nice birthday celebratory dinner. It's going to be fabulous.
I always get a little nervous when I go to cities, particularly New York city (I haven't been since my junior year in high school... almost three years ago eek). So many people and buildings, and really really tall buildings at that.
People with briefcases and cell phones. People who couldn't care less about your well being. People who live in boxes, people who live out of shopping carts, people who only wear Prada, people who can't speak English. So many people, so much going on. It's such a culture shock to go from quiet suburbia to loud and blaring city.
I get the same way when I'm in Boston, but to a lesser extent. Boston is my kind of city, there are huge business districts but then it tapers off. And I think the T is much more doable than the New York subway system.
In any event, I'm very excited to be going in to the big city on Friday. I'm not excited about having to wake up at an ungodly hour, however. I'm very unpleasant when I haven't gotten my 8 hours, and based on my sleeping patterns I can almost guarantee I won't be getting my eight for Friday.
Now I just need to find something "cute"ish to wear. I have no fashion sense at all, but I do love fashion. I'm really gay, but I don't dress like a lumberjack (most of the time). I want an outfit that says "Hey, look over here, I'm really gay but I have style too!!"
I always get a little nervous when I go to cities, particularly New York city (I haven't been since my junior year in high school... almost three years ago eek). So many people and buildings, and really really tall buildings at that.
People with briefcases and cell phones. People who couldn't care less about your well being. People who live in boxes, people who live out of shopping carts, people who only wear Prada, people who can't speak English. So many people, so much going on. It's such a culture shock to go from quiet suburbia to loud and blaring city.
I get the same way when I'm in Boston, but to a lesser extent. Boston is my kind of city, there are huge business districts but then it tapers off. And I think the T is much more doable than the New York subway system.
In any event, I'm very excited to be going in to the big city on Friday. I'm not excited about having to wake up at an ungodly hour, however. I'm very unpleasant when I haven't gotten my 8 hours, and based on my sleeping patterns I can almost guarantee I won't be getting my eight for Friday.
Now I just need to find something "cute"ish to wear. I have no fashion sense at all, but I do love fashion. I'm really gay, but I don't dress like a lumberjack (most of the time). I want an outfit that says "Hey, look over here, I'm really gay but I have style too!!"
Friday, July 18, 2008
Hilarity
I lead a pretty interesting life. Well, it has it's moments in any event. For one thing, I am currently unemployed so I don't have any workplace drama to entertain me. Thank you God, You have certainly blessed me.
I also am not exactly in the dating scene. Not by choice so much as I have no clue where it is. When I find it I'll let you know. Until then, I'm pretty content with my life the way it is, uninterruted by a prospective love-interest. Perhaps when I stop considering prospective love-interested to be interruptions in my life then I will be in the dating scene. I'm in no rush to find her, when she's there she's there and we'll know it and it will be magical and fireworks and flowers and puppies and all that. Yeah. Perfect.
Back to my original story though. So I am out to all of my friends, EXCEPT for one of my three very best friends in the entire world. Truth be told I didn't come out to any of them, I was more or less outed. The first one wasn't at all phased, and it was excellent. I got the butterflies and all that when I found out that she knew.
And then I was outed to my best best best friend in the whole world. She was VERY shocked, but she was also relieved that I was (and still am) happy. I clearly did not have the balls to tell any of them.
So I was going through the motions, pretending that I was neither interested in men nor interested in women around my third best friend.
That was until the other night. There was a carnival in town so two of my friends and I went down to ride the rides and be generally awesome. The carnival sucked, it had three rides that spun around and gave the onlookers more motion sickness than the rider, no doubt. It was a veritable death trap, and I was stuck holding the bags because I refused to put my life into the hands of people who looked like they hadn't bathed since exiting the womb.
So after over an hour of doing the carnival thing, saying hi to people who we graduated with, the siblings of friends, the parents of friends, etc etc. we exited the park for bigger and better things: Dairy Queen. By this time there were four of us, one of whom is one of my best friends.
We piled into my SAAB and drove out to the Dairy Queen for frozen goodness, as it was incredibly hot that evening. The line was about a year long, so we settled in for the long haul. I called my two other best friends to get them to meet us there. As we were standing in line, a friend from high school showed up.
She's pretty awesome, not gonna lie. She's been out forever, she does her own thing, and I definetly aspire to be like her in several ways. We never hung out in high school, but we knew each other, have mutual friends, etc. same old song and dance ya know.
Well as soon as she pulled in my friend Rob flagged her down and we got to chatting. Rob immediately proclaimed to the poor girl that I was a lesbian.
"You finally came out huh?" she asked.
"Yea! Nice of you to tell me I was gay in high school!! That would have made things LOTS easier!" and we joked around for a while and stuff. It really was a good time.
And then my friend who didn't know showed up, and there could be no more of that. We couldn't talk about it, we couldn't allude to it, we couldn't even think about it.
By the time we moved over the a chinese food parking lot so we could all sit down and chat, there were eight of us.
We all sat down, some of us smoked, we all talked and shot to breeze for in the neighborhood of 4 hours. The gays were on one side and the breeders were on the other, it was actually pretty funny. I kept floating amongst them.
At one point my friend Rob went down the line asking about every single person's sexual orientation. Because he's a jerk and LOVES to see me squirm.
I shrugged off the question.
And then it happened.
"Rachel, I KNOW!" she said. My best friend, who was not supposed to know until I got the balls to tell her. She knew, she's known.
"WHAT?" Everyone gasped, my mouth hung wide open.
"I've known for months." I was so shocked. I couldn't even begin to explain my shock.
And then it became the funniest thing that ever happened. We were all in stitches laughing our asses off.
I'm still laughing.
And that, boys and girls, is the story of how I came out to all of the people I hold dear :-)
I also am not exactly in the dating scene. Not by choice so much as I have no clue where it is. When I find it I'll let you know. Until then, I'm pretty content with my life the way it is, uninterruted by a prospective love-interest. Perhaps when I stop considering prospective love-interested to be interruptions in my life then I will be in the dating scene. I'm in no rush to find her, when she's there she's there and we'll know it and it will be magical and fireworks and flowers and puppies and all that. Yeah. Perfect.
Back to my original story though. So I am out to all of my friends, EXCEPT for one of my three very best friends in the entire world. Truth be told I didn't come out to any of them, I was more or less outed. The first one wasn't at all phased, and it was excellent. I got the butterflies and all that when I found out that she knew.
And then I was outed to my best best best friend in the whole world. She was VERY shocked, but she was also relieved that I was (and still am) happy. I clearly did not have the balls to tell any of them.
So I was going through the motions, pretending that I was neither interested in men nor interested in women around my third best friend.
That was until the other night. There was a carnival in town so two of my friends and I went down to ride the rides and be generally awesome. The carnival sucked, it had three rides that spun around and gave the onlookers more motion sickness than the rider, no doubt. It was a veritable death trap, and I was stuck holding the bags because I refused to put my life into the hands of people who looked like they hadn't bathed since exiting the womb.
So after over an hour of doing the carnival thing, saying hi to people who we graduated with, the siblings of friends, the parents of friends, etc etc. we exited the park for bigger and better things: Dairy Queen. By this time there were four of us, one of whom is one of my best friends.
We piled into my SAAB and drove out to the Dairy Queen for frozen goodness, as it was incredibly hot that evening. The line was about a year long, so we settled in for the long haul. I called my two other best friends to get them to meet us there. As we were standing in line, a friend from high school showed up.
She's pretty awesome, not gonna lie. She's been out forever, she does her own thing, and I definetly aspire to be like her in several ways. We never hung out in high school, but we knew each other, have mutual friends, etc. same old song and dance ya know.
Well as soon as she pulled in my friend Rob flagged her down and we got to chatting. Rob immediately proclaimed to the poor girl that I was a lesbian.
"You finally came out huh?" she asked.
"Yea! Nice of you to tell me I was gay in high school!! That would have made things LOTS easier!" and we joked around for a while and stuff. It really was a good time.
And then my friend who didn't know showed up, and there could be no more of that. We couldn't talk about it, we couldn't allude to it, we couldn't even think about it.
By the time we moved over the a chinese food parking lot so we could all sit down and chat, there were eight of us.
We all sat down, some of us smoked, we all talked and shot to breeze for in the neighborhood of 4 hours. The gays were on one side and the breeders were on the other, it was actually pretty funny. I kept floating amongst them.
At one point my friend Rob went down the line asking about every single person's sexual orientation. Because he's a jerk and LOVES to see me squirm.
I shrugged off the question.
And then it happened.
"Rachel, I KNOW!" she said. My best friend, who was not supposed to know until I got the balls to tell her. She knew, she's known.
"WHAT?" Everyone gasped, my mouth hung wide open.
"I've known for months." I was so shocked. I couldn't even begin to explain my shock.
And then it became the funniest thing that ever happened. We were all in stitches laughing our asses off.
I'm still laughing.
And that, boys and girls, is the story of how I came out to all of the people I hold dear :-)
Monday, June 23, 2008
Yahd Work
They did demolition in my back yard today. They being the people who are going to be pouring/stamping concrete out there by the pool.
It doesn't look like it's going to be very nice. There really isn't enough room for the table and chairs we wanted to put out there. Like, not enough room at all.
Kind of upset about that.
I visited my roommate and my sister on Saturday. It was really nice seeing the roomie, I miss her a lot and wish we lived closer. It was also really nice seeing my sister and the kids. I love them a lot and really miss that I'm not around more often. I try to get out there as often as I can but it's really hard, particularly with gas the way it is.
I was supposed to go to my friend's party last night, and I really wanted to go, but she lives in MA, and not even that close to where my sister or my roommate live, and I just couldn't make the trip into a 3 day event. 1 day was hard enough in terms of driving and all that non sense. I do feel kind of left out, seeing as I live 2 hoursish away from school and most of my school friends live relatively close to school and each other.
September will get here soon enough I suppose. I'm not wishing summer away, by any stretch of the imagination. I'm just ready to go back and become a productive member of society again.
It doesn't look like it's going to be very nice. There really isn't enough room for the table and chairs we wanted to put out there. Like, not enough room at all.
Kind of upset about that.
I visited my roommate and my sister on Saturday. It was really nice seeing the roomie, I miss her a lot and wish we lived closer. It was also really nice seeing my sister and the kids. I love them a lot and really miss that I'm not around more often. I try to get out there as often as I can but it's really hard, particularly with gas the way it is.
I was supposed to go to my friend's party last night, and I really wanted to go, but she lives in MA, and not even that close to where my sister or my roommate live, and I just couldn't make the trip into a 3 day event. 1 day was hard enough in terms of driving and all that non sense. I do feel kind of left out, seeing as I live 2 hoursish away from school and most of my school friends live relatively close to school and each other.
September will get here soon enough I suppose. I'm not wishing summer away, by any stretch of the imagination. I'm just ready to go back and become a productive member of society again.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Pull Shapes
So I hate my job... and I may or may not be forced into quitting. I went back today to see if I could get any hours this week and my manager was chastising me for not "reminding" her that I was going on vacation. I told her I was going to be on vacation June 7-14 (Saturday-Saturday) on the Wednesday before I left. That wasn't good enough? She had a pad of paper and a pen in her hand, she couldn't write it down?
In any event, she told me I have to pick my check up from the district manager, so I'm going to go do that in a little while. While I'm out, though, I'm going to be filling out applications for other places. I heard the Borders at the mall near my house is hiring, and that job would be just so perfect I can't even stand it! I could do a backflip thinking about how awesome that would be.
I'm also going to get back to writing. I haven't really written much since the beginning of the school year (I had a good deal of free time first semester, and what wasn't spent shotgunning beer or drinking whiskey straight from the bottle was spent writing/studying). I'd like to get something published. I mean, I was published in the literary magazine in high school and more recently the the magazine in college (and a poetry book of young writers across America in 5th grade, super proud of that one), but I'd love to be published in a "real" magazine or collection of short stories. Something like that. If I made some money off of it, all the better, right?
For right now, though, almost all is right with the world. Almost all, anyway, I still have to go talk to the district manager and sound like an ass (per usual).
The seniors from my alma mater graduate tomorrow night!! It's enough to bring a tear to my eye. I wish them all the best of luck in whatever route they pursue. It's a big scary world out there, but as long as there are people who care about you in it then it's not so bad.
And I'm going to MA this week to visit some incredible people and possibly get my lacrosse on!! I haven't played lacrosse since May (sadly), if I could I'd play 24 hours a day. As soon as the pool is open, though, I'll be doing some serious swimming. I wish there were more hours in the day, and that employment was less necessary to detract from the awesome of summer. Le sigh.
Oh, and the reasoning behind the title of this blog... I'm addicted to "Pull Shapes" by the Pipettes. My lovely roommate thinks it's hilarious that the lyrics "dance with me pretty boy tonight" can very often be found in my away message. If she thinks that's funny, she should see me spinning around my house singing the song over and over again. Quite a sight to be seen. It really is an addicting song though.
In any event, she told me I have to pick my check up from the district manager, so I'm going to go do that in a little while. While I'm out, though, I'm going to be filling out applications for other places. I heard the Borders at the mall near my house is hiring, and that job would be just so perfect I can't even stand it! I could do a backflip thinking about how awesome that would be.
I'm also going to get back to writing. I haven't really written much since the beginning of the school year (I had a good deal of free time first semester, and what wasn't spent shotgunning beer or drinking whiskey straight from the bottle was spent writing/studying). I'd like to get something published. I mean, I was published in the literary magazine in high school and more recently the the magazine in college (and a poetry book of young writers across America in 5th grade, super proud of that one), but I'd love to be published in a "real" magazine or collection of short stories. Something like that. If I made some money off of it, all the better, right?
For right now, though, almost all is right with the world. Almost all, anyway, I still have to go talk to the district manager and sound like an ass (per usual).
The seniors from my alma mater graduate tomorrow night!! It's enough to bring a tear to my eye. I wish them all the best of luck in whatever route they pursue. It's a big scary world out there, but as long as there are people who care about you in it then it's not so bad.
And I'm going to MA this week to visit some incredible people and possibly get my lacrosse on!! I haven't played lacrosse since May (sadly), if I could I'd play 24 hours a day. As soon as the pool is open, though, I'll be doing some serious swimming. I wish there were more hours in the day, and that employment was less necessary to detract from the awesome of summer. Le sigh.
Oh, and the reasoning behind the title of this blog... I'm addicted to "Pull Shapes" by the Pipettes. My lovely roommate thinks it's hilarious that the lyrics "dance with me pretty boy tonight" can very often be found in my away message. If she thinks that's funny, she should see me spinning around my house singing the song over and over again. Quite a sight to be seen. It really is an addicting song though.
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