I'm An American Too

I've had a few hours between what happened earlier today and the present that I feel I have enough mental clarity on the issue so as to write about it. It started off as an average Thursday, went to class at 9:30, went to my next class at 11:00, sat through class, had peanut lovers chex mix for breakfast/lunch, and went back to class for lab.

So we're sitting there, shooting the shit getting ready for class to start. Then this kid comes in and starts handing out flyers on the presidential candidates with information about them. So everyone is reading the flyers and not working on the assignment (because it's lab and no one really cares, after all it's only our grade and our most crucial class as psychology majors) and we all get to having a political debate. I, unbeknownst to me, have been sitting in the Republican/too moderate to care/apathetic section of the room. I'll explain.

This guy from the front of the class went to the table behind me and was talking to my friends at the table, telling them all about the wonders of John McCain and what an ass Barack Obama is. I was pretty fed up with the conversation so I tuned out until he said something along the lines of "I don't know why anyone would vote for Barack Obama," which set me off. I couldn't not say anything anymore so I turned around and told him that I was voting for Barack Obama, because besides the fact that the things he takes issue with are the things I believe in, he has never publicly said that he does not want me to be able to have a family some day. John McCain has PUBLICLY said he believes gay people shouldn't be allowed to adopt children, to raise children, to be parents. I told this kid who was running his mouth that I was voting for the candidate who I feel stands the best chance of providing me with a secure future where I can marry whomever I choose and have a family.

To which this student replied "Then move to Canada."

To which I started screaming at him.

To which all of my friends started screaming at him and demanding that he apologise.

To which he said he didn't mean it that way.

To which I responded that I am as much an American as he is and that just because I am gay doesn't make me any less of an American, and certainly does not mean I should have to abandon MY COUNTRY simply because of something I have absolutely no control over.

He started laughing uncomfortably, because everyone was yelling at him and demanding that he apologise, so he did apologise and that was that.

But it still hurts. How day he say that to me, that I should have to leave my homeland simply because I'm gay and my rights aren't acknowledged in this country? I should have to leave. America doesn't want me here. Well I'm AS MUCH IF NOT MORE of an American as that jackass has ever been or will ever be. I love this country, I would die for this country and for freedom. I love Canada, and I am Canadian, but I was born and raised in this country.

Just because I am openly gay, does that mean I have effectively renounced my citizenship? I'm a pacifist and I don't believe that violence solves anything, but I had such a strong desire to jump across the desk and ring his neck. If I could go back and do it again I probably would hit him so hard. I don't know if I'm angrier that he effectively told me that I am less of an American than his pompous ass just because I'm gay, or the fact that I don't think I've ever wanted to physically hurt someone so much and he caused that anger in me. How dare he. How dare he.