Disappointment

Bummed doesn't even begin to describe how I feel today.

I took my stats exam (after having studying until 1 am), went to lunch only to find out that I was not one of the 10 selected to go on the Rome trip over Spring break, drove to Wellesley to see an exhibit on African American Womanhood (which was actually really really cool and if you're in the greater Boston area I definitely suggest checking it out), drove back and was ten minutes late for my child development class where there was a quiz which I had no chance to study for, called out sick to work and now I'm sitting in the room being sad.

I'm pretty aware of the unfairness of things. I'm also very aware of and very grateful for the privileges I have had and continue to have. But I mean, I'm overqualified for the chance to go on this trip and to be in this class, and yet I wasn't one of the chosen 10. This trip would mean the world to me, it's such a fantastic opportunity. I'm very happy for the people who were chosen to go, and I'm trying very hard to not be jealous. But I'm also extremely disappointed, and I feel like somehow it's my fault. I'm not good enough. I just want to be enough.

I'm just going to lay down and pretend like my life isn't utterly disappointing right now.

who am i, i bet you can't even tell me that much