Saturday, February 9, 2013

Lost Time

Though I suppose it wasn't lost time at all, it was actually time very well spent!


I moved to Philadelphia in August 2011, after having graduated from college in May 2011 and had a horrible break up with Hillary and moved from Boston to Connecticut for a month in July 2011.


Life was extremely complicated for that brief period of time. I felt pretty lost and alone. There were times when I really wondered what everything was all about, if it was even worth it for me to go to seminary, if I really knew what I was doing with my life.


It's safe to say that now, February 2013, I still don't know if I really know what I am doing with my life. But I have never been this happy and content before.


I met Carrie and she changed my perspective on everything. If it wasn't for that nasty break up with Hillary, and those weeks of contemplating my life and spending a lot of time growing up, I never would have been ready to meet Carrie.


But she changed everything. It was like a lightbulb flicking on. Or like waking up from a dream, though sometimes I wonder if I'm not dreaming all of this.


When I lived in London I had the absolute time of my life. Everything was perfect, almost dreamlike. But this, this love with Carrie, it's so perfect.


Sure we argue, and we fight. Sometimes I feel like she is going to drive me insane. Other times I feel like my heart is going to explode with how much I adore her. She cooks for me, and take such good care of me. She holds my hand and smiles at me. She has the greatest smile! She kisses me goodbye in the morning. We have so much fun together, just being silly and laughing together. I feel content with her, and I know she feels content with me. I am absolutely in love with this person, the crazy passionate love that makes me feel foolish at times. But I can't imagine feeling any other way, I don't want to remember what it was like to not have Carrie in my life. And I can't wait to marry her in June. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life loving her. I am the luckiest person in the world.

No comments: