My Uncle on Newfoundland always told me that if the U.S. reinstated the draft, I'd always have a place on the rock where I could go hide. I'm not one for hiding, but I'm also not one for participating in unjustified conflicts, and unless someone is waving a gun in my family's face there is very little that could provoke me to use violence. Besides the fact that I'm an avid pacifist, I also don't believe in fighting for a country that doesn't allot the same rights to me and people like me based on inconsequential circumstances.
I guess I had a lot more faith in Mr. Obama, that he would do more for the community. Takes our votes... then forget about us. Sickening really. I wouldn't get the chance to fight for this country even if I wanted to, because I can't be who I am. I'm sure I could tote a gun just as well as any other person out there. A friend of mine in the Army told me that I should join up and go into the ministry in the Army, that they had a shortage of ministers and they needed more (she was drunk when she told me this, and I had to chuckle a little because... well the Army wouldn't want someone like me. If you tell me the sky is blue, I'm probably going to argue that's it's really more of an off-purple hue. Not to mention the fact that I'm queerer than Christmas). Long story short, I could preach the Word out there probably just as well as the next guy. I'll tell you all about Yahweh and God and Allah and Jehovah (all the same dude) and help make your journey through life a little more peaceful. I'd love to give back to my country (even though they hate me for some reason?), but I can't because I can't enlist and remain an out individual.
I have this vision of a country where everyone is free, where we as taxpaying, country-loving, flag waving, American Idol watching citizens aren't forced subscribers to religions that we never chose to be a part of.
And, like I said to my mother when she asked about the "California thing," this country was founded by queers, you can't even tell me the founding fathers weren't a bunch of homos (no offense intended at all, I happen to be a proud American and I know my history very well, I also know that, more often then not for the better part of the history of most civilizations: men prefered the company of men and women, the company of women).
I guess what I'm trying to say is, this country is really cutting off its nose to spite its face, for lack of a better expression. I don't want to raise a family here when I could pack of my little car and haul it off to Canada where my rights are the same as the heterosexual next door. But I don't want to leave the country where I was born and raised, where my family lives (mainly), where my friends are and likely will remain.
I'm glad Connecticut and Massachusetts (the only two states I give a crap about, sorry to the other 48) have granted marriage equality, but it's just not enough. When my rights are different when I travel to Florida, something is not right. When my relationship with the person whom I love is not equivalent to a heterosexual relationship simply because I can't procreate with my partner of choice, something is not right. When my country tells me to get lost when I try to live my life the way I choose to live my life, hurting no one (in fact, I try to help out as much as possible in order to make life better for people), something is not right.
I just want to graduate from college, go to graduate school, become a Licensed Mental Health Clinician and eventually get my PhD (or PsyD as they're calling it these days for us psych geeks) and just... help people. I want to get married to a nice, soft spoken, warm hearted, charming girl who will make me laugh every day and who I can make laugh too. I want to have a kid or two and watch them learn new things, make mistakes, learn to love this beautiful world and this wonderful life. I just want to be as financially, emotionally and physically secure in my relationship with another human being (and eventually bringing more human beings into the picture), and I don't think that's too much to ask of this life or this world, or particularly this country where we're supposedly "free."
Sorry this is long and probably very disconnected, but I needed some time to process the "California thing" (as my mum calls it).
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