I remember being a little kid, chasing the little boys around at recess, cooties and all. It happens on every playground in the world, and it has been happening probably since the very first little girl and boy. It's when the little girls start chasing the other little girls and trying to pin them down and steal a kiss that the playground monitors start to talk.
Unfortunately I was neither the pinner nor the pinee, because little girls simply did not chase other little girls at recess. Girls liked boys and boys liked girls and that was that, there was no other way.
Looking back on it, I remember having feelings for female teachers (in the non mom-away-from-home kinda way) and female classmates.
But my first kiss was with a little boy, hidden in the wooden maze amidst the graffiti and gravel. We professed our love for one and other almost constantly (this was fourth grade). He's a happy gay man now, with a bright future.
Coming out is different for each of us, but it is absolutely critical. In the documentary For the Bible Tells Me So (which you should definetly run out and watch right now!! I watched it on the internet for free, just try googling it.) I believe they use the phrase 'The closet is a place of death,' and honestly, truer words were never spoken. My thoughts on coming out are a mix between the sooner the better and whenever you're ready. I wish that there was some way to make all people comfortable with their sexuality, for everyone to know and understand that sexuality is something to be embraced and not shunned.
The only way that I see helping young people to come out, to embrace who they are and celebrate the differences of others, is to start at the root of the problem. Unfortunately, this particular problem has many many roots, the three biggest being parents, society and religion.
I wasn't raised Christian, I converted when I was a teenager of my own free will. Ironically enough, I converted at a time when I was beginning to realize that there was something different about me. Luckily, because neither of my parents were religious, I didn't have to deal with any guilt or preaching about sinful ways, etc.
But I was raised in this society, and I was raised by two individuals who are products of society and who brought their own baggage to parenthood. No one escapes this fate.
I was never told that being gay was 'bad,' that it was a choice, that I would be kicked out if ever I were to choose to be gay. My mother simply assumed that, because I was born and raised as a girl, I would also be a heterosexual adult. If only things were that uncomplicated. Though I've never officially told her, I'm sure every time I say 'she's hot' or 'I saw this polo in the men's section and absolutely had to have it,' my mom realizes that her little girl won't be chasing the little boys around any more.
It took me a long time to realize that it really is okay, not just for me but for others too (I did go through the whole, 'I'm uncomfortable with my sexuality, so I'll torture the people I know to be gay' phase, and I am eternally sorry for any damage I did to anyone else and I regret the damage done to myself). We are raised to believe that being straight is the only way, that anything else is unnatural, ungodly, etc. Let's start raising our children to believe that being anyone who we are not is the thing that is unnatural, the thing that is against God.
The only advice I have to give to someone who is dealing with coming out is to be proud, always be proud. Pride isn't something to be ashamed of. Have pride in yourself, in who you are, in you're struggle and the struggle of others. Having pride might mean a pink triangle bumper sticker, standing up to narrow-minded bullies, coming out to a coworker or fellow student. The greatest pride of them all, though, the pride that surpasses all other forms, is admitting to oneself that you really are gay, or bisexual, or transgendered, or straight (and supportive!) and loving yourself for it.
The walls between us won't collapse until no one, or everyone, has to come out, and every parent loves their child all the more for whoever they are.
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