At Least I'm Enjoying the Ride

Lots of stuff has been going on since I last blogged. I s'pose I'll begin at the beginning (as Julie Andrews [the human, not the cat] would say: let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start...).

A week ago Monday Hillary and I climbed 98% of Mt. Monadnock in New Hampshire. Apparently it's the second most climbed mountain in the world, right behind Mt. Fugi in Japan (totally going there at some point in my life). It was absolutely beautiful and so worth every ounce of sweat and every curse that slipped out of my lips the following day when my knees felt like they were going to give out. We couldn't finish climbing because there is a sheer rock face about, maybe 200 feet from the summit, and I knew I could get up, but getting down is the hard part.

You gotta get up to get down.

So we were content with getting as far as we got (and we made it sooooo far) and then climbing back down. We also didn't have enough water, which was a major concern. I actually ended up filling up my bottle at a stream (despite Hillary's warnings that I would get parasites. It's been a week, still no parasites and that water was darn good).


That's the trail... oi vey


A rock in the shape of a heart :)


Nature


A breathtaking view, even if it's a few hundred feet from the top

Later in the week we had to bring some family members up to upstate New York (we're not talking Albany or Syracuse here, we're talking borderline Canada, where some of the towns speak French) to retrieve their vehicle which had been being serviced for over a month. No one else in the family would do it, and what's family for if not to be there when you need them most? It was an extremely long day though, we started the journey at 8 am from where they were staying in MA and didn't get off the road until close to 11 pm that night. We took breaks for meals and stretches but mainly we just drove and drove... which is entirely too exhausting for my liking.

Over the weekend, Hillary and I went up to Maine to visit with her friend and her friend's boyfriend. It ended up that her friend's boyfriend's family was headed to the family cabin in the woods that weekend, so we tagged along and had a pretty awesome time. The cabin had no electricity or running water, it was mainly a place to sleep. There was an outhouse a bit away from the cabin. The cabin was entirely in the woods, surrounded by trees and a huge beautiful crystal clear lake bordered by mountains and rolling hills. There was no one around, no other campers and no cabins at all, just us, the sound of the water hitting the pebbles on the shore and the loons calling to each other. Hillary and I stayed in a tent in the woods and fell asleep to the loons and the crickets. It was wonderful to be unplugged for a while, to just enjoy being together and being surrounded by new friends and just relaxing for a bit. AND on the way home we stopped at LL Bean in Freeport, which was very cool, though super overwhelming. Still, a very cool store and definitely worth the experience. Give me the catalogue anyday though.











Now I'm mainly in London mode, trying to figure out what I need, what I have, what I can get when I'm there and what I should bring, etc. No big trips this weekend, except up to see my grandmother on Nantucket on Friday (which I'm not very comfortable with at the moment, since the Kennedys will be swarming the place and we'll have to avoid heavy traffic times at all cost) and to see some fireworks with Hill Saturday night. Summer is really starting to wind down now, and I can't say as though that makes me sad, though this is my last real summer of freedom. I'm so excited for adventure and the unknown, London will be a great adventure, I can hardly wait.

Scraping By

I get really scared when I hear a lot of my classmates, friends and peers suggesting that Sarah Palin would be a better president than Barack Obama. These are the same people whose parents voted for George Bush twice, so I can only imagine the brain washing that went on in their households. Probably had Fox News on 24/7 for eight years.

It's just scary to think that these kids, the future of America, the future work force... have these insane notions about leaders. Leaders who have shown their true colours and proven themselves to be useless and worthless as public servants.

I was there was an island somewhere, where there were no politics, no one in charge and no power struggle. Everyone just did their own thing and got along and if there was ever any trouble there was punishment to be decided by the local people as a collective unit. No war and no death or destruction, just people trying to scrape by, like we've been trying to do for thousands of years.

When I think about the future of this country, I get so scared it almost makes me physically ill. Here's hoping my generation can get its act together, or that I stop caring.

A Visit From The Stork

The family reunion was this weekend, and it actually went very well. No major issues and everyone put on a happy face and avoided ripping heads off.

So on Friday I was packing my things to get ready for the weekend. We were scheduled to leave my house when Hillary got here from work (a 2 hour drive for her) and then be on our way, taking separate cars because there wasn't enough room in one car for everything. I get a phone call from Hillary half-way through the day saying that one of the feral cats at school (Hillary works at our college now) had kittens and the maintenance staff was giving them away. So I called my mother to see if we could bring one home, if and only if she could look after the kitten until January and we would bring the kitten to the apartment with us when I got back from London. The madre agreed, so Hillary went and got a kitten.

Possibly the worst mistake of our lives, though also the cutest investment ever. This was the tiniest kitten I had ever held. She is a calico, who loves to run around like a banshee and things fingers and toes are the coolest chew toys ever. We took her to the vet on Monday and they determined that she was between 6-8 weeks old, so the bottle we had been feeding her every 2-4 hours since Friday evening was unnecessary (she seemed to really enjoy the bottle though).

We didn't get very much sleep at all the first few nights with her in her pink rubbermade bin complete with blanket and catnip mouse. She wanted to be fed, then she wanted to play, then she wanted to go to the bathroom and then she wanted to sleep, but she wanted to sleep on our chests. So we took her to the vet and they determined her age and told us what we should be feeding her, so we started her on a wet food/formula combo in a bowl and she took to it pretty much right away. I put her in a litterbox that same day and she did her business in the litterbox immediately, she's so damn smart.

Little did we know that when the vets gave her the de-wormer (fearing that, since her mom was a feral cat, she would have worms and fleas and earmites) she would have explosive diarreah for two days straight. She actually didn't have worms, she was just bloated with a big baby belly, and she didn't have fleas or ear mites either. She got a clean bill of health and she is a perfectly healthy and happy little kitten.

At this point, she is eating dry food and loving it, drinking water by itself (finally!) and going in the litterbox to do her business instead of all over the cat carrier where she sleeps. Right now she is attacking my laptop. It'll be sad to leave her in September, just like it will be sad to leave my cat and my dog and my rabbits. Hopefully she will quickly be able to defend herself against my five cats, the dog loves cats and will probably just lick her and annoy the hell out of her.

In January, she can move into the apartment with Hillary and I and we can be a happy little family. The kitten, whose name is Julie Andrews (as my six year old niece exclaimed when I explained who Julie Andrews is: "Fraulein Maria!") will be spayed probably sometime in midwinter, she'll be an indoor cat and she'll never be declawed as long as I have a say in the matter because small animals need a way to defend themselves. Hopefully she'll be a good pest-hunter in the new apartment.

Don't Look Back in Anger

I can't stand this volatile relationship my mother and I have. I just plain can't stand it anymore.

As I get older I'm able to piece together and reflect on the damage she's done to me over the years (being a psychology major only makes my introspection worse).

A few weeks ago she accused me of not liking Naveen, which she does on a regular basis. I love Naveen, like a brother (or at least I did before the whole dabacle on my birthday), and so naturally I defended the fact that I do like Naveen, it's their relationship I have a problem with. I'm sorry but my 50-something year old mother should not be doing a 20-something year old man's laundry, giving him her brand new laptop, making his lunches for him, etc. etc., it's not a friendship it's her babying him, but that's a long story for another day.

On this particular occasion I guess my mother decided she needed to get a good jab in and take me down a few pegs, so she said something to the affect of "you don't like him because he is Indian (obviously I'm racist, and if that wasn't offensive enough), or maybe it's because he's a man. The only people you care about are gay people and the only things you care about are gay issues."

It's taken me some time to reflect on this, because it cut me REAL deep. If my mother bothered to get to know me, she'd know I'm not really big into gay issues. I'm more of a big picture kind of girl. I'm really into human issues. I care about everyone who takes a minute to talk to me, if I've met you there's a good chance I care about you. I don't really have any gay friends, most of my friends are straight (by choice for the most part, because gay kids in college are filled with drama, and I, clearly, get enough drama at home). My first best friend from college is a guy, he's a great guy and I love him a great deal. Almost all of my friends are girls, but that's only because my school is predominantly female. But I guess the fact of the matter is I shouldn't have to justify myself in terms of my mother's hurtful remark. She wanted to get a good jab in, and she did. I'm not sure if she can even comprehend the amount of damage she did to me by saying that.

Ever since she said that I've been wondering to myself about being gay. Do people assume that since I'm gay all I care about are gay things? I can't care about anything other than being gay? I mean, I started the GSA at my school, but I did that honestly because I firmly believe that the school is better off having a safe and welcoming outlet for GLBTQ students rather than having to deal with depressed/suicidal students who have no outlet and no way of expressing themselves. It's all about student retention. But I'm not all about being gay. I'm all about being me, and doing well in school, and getting into graduate school and figuring out what the heck I want to do with my life. I'm pretty normal and boring when you get right down to it.

But what if people think I'm just gay? What if they don't see that I'm Rachel too, and I like to play the violin and I'm happiest when I'm surrounded by my friends laughter. What if they think all I am is gay, and they don't know that when I get cut I bleed too. That's the scariest part of all of this. Does my mother think all I am is gay? That I'm nothing more than a gay kid now and I am so uninterested in the rest of the world that it might as well not even exist to me.

It makes me so sad. To think I might mean nothing. To think I might mean nothing to the woman who made me something. It helps me understand why so many GLBTQ kids kill themselves. When the people you love the most in the world make you feel worthless, what else is there?

I wonder if she'll ever know how much she hurt me, or if she'll ever care.

Just have to keep moving I s'pose. Chin up and all that good stuff. Hope everyone else is having a safe, happy and productive week. This weekend is the family reunion, wish me luck.

And Keep Your Eyes Wide the Chance Won't Come Again

I'm kicking myself because Bob Dylan, THE Bob Dylan, the one and only the man himself, is PLAYING, RIGHT NOW, down the street from my house. I can HEAR HIM from my upstairs bathroom, clear as a bell.

Clearly I dropped the ball and missed the fact that Bob Dylan, Willie Nelson and John Michael Mellencamp (whom my high school health teacher taught back in Illinois, see I was listening Mrs. D!) would be in CT tonight. I feel like a fool. Now I'm scrambling to see if I can afford tickets to the three remaining shows near me in either Vermont, NY or Rhode Island, all within the next few days. Ugh, it seems hopeless, but maybe someone will want to go with me.

Harry Potter et cetera

Life is quiet at home for the most part, and it's nice to be around my friends (and Hillary when I can) and spice things up a bit.

Last night we went to the midnight showing of Harry Potter and the Halfblood Prince.

SPOILERS AHEAD: for those of you who haven't read the book(s).

I am not necessarily an avid Harry Potter fan. I enjoy the movies and there was a time when I enjoyed the books, but I was always more of a Narnia kid and when I discovered Lord of the Rings I was in heaven. There's just something about those books and movies. Harry Potter is a little too... realistic for my taste. The first few books and movies were fantastic (in the truest sense of the word) and magical, but as the kids get older I get less interested in the whole Harry Potter phenomenon. I guess maybe I am attracted to the innocence and mystery present in the books when Harry and his friends are young, just like the Pevensies in Narnia, and the perpetual innocence of Middle Earth (though that's a debate for another day). I don't like the hormonal teenage crap in the new Harry Potter movies and if I had read past book 3 I'm sure I would have eventually been turned off by it.

That being said, though, the movies are very well done and for people like me who crave to be taken to another world when we step into the pale darkness of a movie theatre, the Harry Potter movies deliver. I don't like the darkness present in the movies, but I understand that Harry is experiencing darker and darker stuff as he ages.

SPOILER: Though I haven't read the book, I was aware that Dumbledore died in the 7th book. Personally, I'll be more sad to see Hedwig the owl die in the 8th movie, but there was this sense of "what now?" when Snape killed Dumbledore. The tears and sniffles in the theatre definitely speaks volumes for how attached the fans are to the characters, both in the book and in living colour on the screen. J.K. Rowling and the actors and filmmakers responsible for the Harry Potter craze did a wonderful job creating a fan base and giving their fans what they want and what they crave.

So I can't really say "Oh the movie was true to the book, it was awesome!" or "The movie completely went against the plot of the book, terrible," but I can say that, for a movie, it was very well done and if you're going to see it and you're a die hard Harry Potter fan, be sure to differentiate between the books and the movies, they are two separate art forms in their own rights and deserve to be looked at as such. I heard far too much negativity last night, just enjoy the movie.

Or stay home and watch Lord of the Rings (cause it's soooo much better :D).

Save The Animales

A lot has transpired whilst I was away on my leadership retreat at school:

- My car broke down immediately as I pulled into the main parking lot at school. Huge bummer, I was without a car for threeish days and my mother had to drive up from CT to pick me up, only to find out halfway to get me that my car was ready (if she had known, I could have easily gotten a ride over to the garage to get the car myself). AAA towed my car to a garage 10 miles away that I am (very) familiar with, and the fixed Rhonda up real nice and she's back to purring like a kitten... $600 later... It's better than the grand they originally estimated, but still, it makes me swoon just thinking about it. And I'm leaving for London in a month and two weeks...

- We discussed my club's E-Board, and how a certain individual on the E-Board (executive board: presidents, vp, etc.) needs some mediation and there needs to be intervention. Long story short, this guy thinks he's the bees knees and knows everything and has been so cruel and callous with his fellow E-Board members that he has caused tears and has desecrated the sacred name of my baby the GSA. It's an extremely long story that I can't explain here, but basically this person took playground bullying to a whole new level. Playground bullying is worse, I think, when you're 20 and you're still pulling the girl's hair and kicking sand in their eyes, literally or figuratively.

- I got to meet a bunch of wonderful new people with whom I would ordinarily never interact! It was an awesome experience and I'm so glad I had this worthwhile opportunity.

- Hillary and I went to Walden Pond and explored the trails around the pond. We didn't have our suits, unfortunately, because it was an absolutely beautiful day, but we dipped out feet in the water and it was sooo nice. I did get sneezed on by a statie's horse, though. I was just minding my own business, talking to the horse while he was moseying around in his pen, and he walked up to me and sneezed all over the new shirt that Hillary had just given me. That's why God made leaves though, to wipe horse snot off of new t-shirts.

I'm sure there is more, but basically it was a great and highly eventful weekend.

While my mother was bringing me to the garage to get my car she told me that the Stoneham Zoo and the Franklin Park Zoo are both closing (unless the state of Massachusetts intercedes). Now, if you've been to either of those zoos, you will know they are nothing special and that they probably should have closed their doors long ago. The Franklin Park Zoo has a petting zoo, bunnies, a flamingo, some ducks, and lions. However, I was beside myself when she told me that an estimated 30% of the animals are going to be euthenized because homes won't be able to be found for them. I can't even begin to understand why. Most of the animals at the FP Zoo are livestock and could be sent to farms to live out the rest of their days, and I'm sure some zoo would love to expand their horizons with a new lion, or to add a lion to their already existent pride. There has to be a way to save those animals, it just seems to terribly cruel to euthenize animals when we're done with them and can't find anything else to do with them :(