A lot has transpired whilst I was away on my leadership retreat at school:
- My car broke down immediately as I pulled into the main parking lot at school. Huge bummer, I was without a car for threeish days and my mother had to drive up from CT to pick me up, only to find out halfway to get me that my car was ready (if she had known, I could have easily gotten a ride over to the garage to get the car myself). AAA towed my car to a garage 10 miles away that I am (very) familiar with, and the fixed Rhonda up real nice and she's back to purring like a kitten... $600 later... It's better than the grand they originally estimated, but still, it makes me swoon just thinking about it. And I'm leaving for London in a month and two weeks...
- We discussed my club's E-Board, and how a certain individual on the E-Board (executive board: presidents, vp, etc.) needs some mediation and there needs to be intervention. Long story short, this guy thinks he's the bees knees and knows everything and has been so cruel and callous with his fellow E-Board members that he has caused tears and has desecrated the sacred name of my baby the GSA. It's an extremely long story that I can't explain here, but basically this person took playground bullying to a whole new level. Playground bullying is worse, I think, when you're 20 and you're still pulling the girl's hair and kicking sand in their eyes, literally or figuratively.
- I got to meet a bunch of wonderful new people with whom I would ordinarily never interact! It was an awesome experience and I'm so glad I had this worthwhile opportunity.
- Hillary and I went to Walden Pond and explored the trails around the pond. We didn't have our suits, unfortunately, because it was an absolutely beautiful day, but we dipped out feet in the water and it was sooo nice. I did get sneezed on by a statie's horse, though. I was just minding my own business, talking to the horse while he was moseying around in his pen, and he walked up to me and sneezed all over the new shirt that Hillary had just given me. That's why God made leaves though, to wipe horse snot off of new t-shirts.
I'm sure there is more, but basically it was a great and highly eventful weekend.
While my mother was bringing me to the garage to get my car she told me that the Stoneham Zoo and the Franklin Park Zoo are both closing (unless the state of Massachusetts intercedes). Now, if you've been to either of those zoos, you will know they are nothing special and that they probably should have closed their doors long ago. The Franklin Park Zoo has a petting zoo, bunnies, a flamingo, some ducks, and lions. However, I was beside myself when she told me that an estimated 30% of the animals are going to be euthenized because homes won't be able to be found for them. I can't even begin to understand why. Most of the animals at the FP Zoo are livestock and could be sent to farms to live out the rest of their days, and I'm sure some zoo would love to expand their horizons with a new lion, or to add a lion to their already existent pride. There has to be a way to save those animals, it just seems to terribly cruel to euthenize animals when we're done with them and can't find anything else to do with them :(
Showing posts with label gsa. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gsa. Show all posts
Monday, July 13, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
The View From The Top
My friend Molly and I climbed Talcott (sp?) mountain today all the way up to the tower, quite not meaning to do so (we were searching for a farm in Bloomfield where we start volunteering next week and happened upon this nice looking mountain...). It was exhausting to say the least, but it was so beautiful and so worth the view from the top. Watching the mountains and rolling hills kiss the foamy grey clouds. The splotches of sunlight sreaming down into the green open fields, pooling on the earth like liquid gold. Reaching the top is always the greatest feeling in the world, and I think it's quickly becoming something I crave as I hike more and more this summer. Conquering Connecticut and Massachusetts one mountain at a time. There's nothing like relying on yourself, your own legs, your own lungs and your own will power to accomplish anything and everything.
Tomorrow I pack my things up to spend Friday night and Saturday day with Hillary, Saturday night, all of Sunday, and Monday day at school (we're having a team building retreat for the executive board members of multicultural clubs... yippee). I'll most likely be blogging up a storm since I'll be at school, all by my onesies, bored out of my mind and hating my life.
Oh and by the by... I GOT AN A IN BUSINESS STATISTICS II!!!! Suck on that former stats prof from my real college. YESSS!
Tomorrow I pack my things up to spend Friday night and Saturday day with Hillary, Saturday night, all of Sunday, and Monday day at school (we're having a team building retreat for the executive board members of multicultural clubs... yippee). I'll most likely be blogging up a storm since I'll be at school, all by my onesies, bored out of my mind and hating my life.
Oh and by the by... I GOT AN A IN BUSINESS STATISTICS II!!!! Suck on that former stats prof from my real college. YESSS!
Thursday, November 13, 2008
What a Wonderful Dream
I bought and watched Fried Green Tomatoes last night, which I've seen about a bagillion times on TV but I've never actually sat down and just watched it all the way through. It's a very well done movie and Mary Stuart Masterson is nothing short of drop dead gorgeous.
After having watched the movie, though, I decided I really needed to read the book so I had something to go off of.
OH. MY. GOD. The book is SO good. I work from 5-8 on Thursdays and I literally spent 2.5 hours reading that book, so much so that I didn't even notice when massive amounts of people came in to the student success centre. It's so good, I cannot put it down. Like most novels that are turned into movies, the movie is nothing like the book. I feel like, in many ways, the two could stand alone.
The Ally Panel went extremely well! We had three lesbians, one gay man, one bisexual, one questioning person, and an entire audience of all different genders, races, faiths, perceptions and orientations. Everyone who was there said it was a great success and they look forward to more in the future. According to many people in the audience they learned a lot, particularly about the support that GLBTQ people need. One girl told me she had no idea of how difficult it really is for GLBTQ youth, and her perception was changed. She also voted for McCain, which is an indicator of what's going on (or not going on) in her head.
I'm still really excited about the protest on Saturday, but people seem to be nervous about it. Why is everyone so nervous, people rallied all the times in the 60's and 70's and eventually were granted their rights. My best friend told me, and I quote to "run as though you are being chased by zombies" (because she knows about my unnatural fear of zombies as a result of watching far too many horror movies with Molly cause she thinks she is oh so hardcore, and I know you're reading this right now Molly) in the event that something goes down.
My mother (who is being slightly douchey for some reason lately, and I'm just going to assume she is wicked stressed at work at that I didn't somehow screw up again per usual) is worried about the rally, but she said she was going to go in to Hartford to see if there was one there this weekend (doubtful, Hartford sucks when it comes to things like this). She gets very testy when I talk about the GSA, and she has no interest at all in hearing about what is going on with the club I created, or in the life I am living in reality. She just skims the surface. But that's her I guess.
They brought up the issue of coming out to parents at the ally panel, and as much as I didn't really discuss it because it is a little too fresh for me, I did say that there was a palpible sense of relief when I came out to my mother and my sister. I know they both knew and were perhaps waiting for me to come out to them, perhaps waiting for me to bring a girl home, perhaps waiting for me to become a nun. Whereas my sister's relief turned in to happiness; happiness that I am happy in the life I am leading and the relief I have personally found in being myself, my mother's relief turned in to a kind of anger that I can't quite put my finger on. She doesn't want to talk about it, and it is very obvious. Maybe she is angry that she let me turn nineteen before she discussed this with me. Maybe she is angry that I even came out in the first place, or that she wasn't the first person I told. I'm not sure what her issue is, I can't understand her for the life of me.
I feel like my blogs always kind of take on a negative vibe but I totally do not mean for them to do that at all. It's hard for me to make things funny here because most of the funny things that go on in my life are inside jokes and would make absolutely no sense to anyone else. For example, when I ran to the bathroom tonight because I was literally about to pee my pants from laughing so hard at an impression my best friend at school did of a chick who lives down the hall from her. It was by far the hardest I have laughed in a very long time.
I'll leave you with this, so you can maybe get a sense of the real Rachel
After having watched the movie, though, I decided I really needed to read the book so I had something to go off of.
OH. MY. GOD. The book is SO good. I work from 5-8 on Thursdays and I literally spent 2.5 hours reading that book, so much so that I didn't even notice when massive amounts of people came in to the student success centre. It's so good, I cannot put it down. Like most novels that are turned into movies, the movie is nothing like the book. I feel like, in many ways, the two could stand alone.
The Ally Panel went extremely well! We had three lesbians, one gay man, one bisexual, one questioning person, and an entire audience of all different genders, races, faiths, perceptions and orientations. Everyone who was there said it was a great success and they look forward to more in the future. According to many people in the audience they learned a lot, particularly about the support that GLBTQ people need. One girl told me she had no idea of how difficult it really is for GLBTQ youth, and her perception was changed. She also voted for McCain, which is an indicator of what's going on (or not going on) in her head.
I'm still really excited about the protest on Saturday, but people seem to be nervous about it. Why is everyone so nervous, people rallied all the times in the 60's and 70's and eventually were granted their rights. My best friend told me, and I quote to "run as though you are being chased by zombies" (because she knows about my unnatural fear of zombies as a result of watching far too many horror movies with Molly cause she thinks she is oh so hardcore, and I know you're reading this right now Molly) in the event that something goes down.
My mother (who is being slightly douchey for some reason lately, and I'm just going to assume she is wicked stressed at work at that I didn't somehow screw up again per usual) is worried about the rally, but she said she was going to go in to Hartford to see if there was one there this weekend (doubtful, Hartford sucks when it comes to things like this). She gets very testy when I talk about the GSA, and she has no interest at all in hearing about what is going on with the club I created, or in the life I am living in reality. She just skims the surface. But that's her I guess.
They brought up the issue of coming out to parents at the ally panel, and as much as I didn't really discuss it because it is a little too fresh for me, I did say that there was a palpible sense of relief when I came out to my mother and my sister. I know they both knew and were perhaps waiting for me to come out to them, perhaps waiting for me to bring a girl home, perhaps waiting for me to become a nun. Whereas my sister's relief turned in to happiness; happiness that I am happy in the life I am leading and the relief I have personally found in being myself, my mother's relief turned in to a kind of anger that I can't quite put my finger on. She doesn't want to talk about it, and it is very obvious. Maybe she is angry that she let me turn nineteen before she discussed this with me. Maybe she is angry that I even came out in the first place, or that she wasn't the first person I told. I'm not sure what her issue is, I can't understand her for the life of me.
I feel like my blogs always kind of take on a negative vibe but I totally do not mean for them to do that at all. It's hard for me to make things funny here because most of the funny things that go on in my life are inside jokes and would make absolutely no sense to anyone else. For example, when I ran to the bathroom tonight because I was literally about to pee my pants from laughing so hard at an impression my best friend at school did of a chick who lives down the hall from her. It was by far the hardest I have laughed in a very long time.
I'll leave you with this, so you can maybe get a sense of the real Rachel
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Random Weekly Update
Tonight was the honours banquet, and it was super intense. The food was delish and the company and conversation were very good (it was good to get away from the chaos of classes for a few hours and just sit around and talk).
The speaker was so intense though. She's a sociology professor who specialises in abuse survivors and abusers. She gave us lots of web sites to help others or help ourselves, including RAINN, of which I am a big supporter. RAINN does wonderful work.
Abuse is everywhere and it effects so many lives. Both sets of my parents' parents came from very abusive relationships. My father's parents were terribly abusive to one and other, and psychologically abusive to their three sons. My mother's father constantly abused his wife (my grandmother) and his only son and psychologically abused his five daughters. He died of a heart attack when my mother was fifteen. My grandmother, as a result of his abuse, has had several strokes.
Neither of my parents every abused each other or me. They broke the cycle with themselves. But it's not okay to live with abuse. My grandparents shouldn't have had to deal with that behaviour, and neither should my mother and father, or my aunts or uncles. It is a serious problem and it needs to be stopped. It was interesting looking at it from a sociological perspective, though. What makes people become abusers, etc.
This issue is very personal to me for a variety of reasons which I don't want to bring up, which made the banquet a little more than uncomfortable. I hope I didn't give the speaker the wrong impression, I really wasn't bored at all and I was paying attention but there is a fine line between looking thoroughly bored and trying to not be ill. It's difficult to describe what was discussed at the banquet to people who were not there, so just take my word for it, it was intense.
I'm actually taking a class with the woman who spoke tonight next semester, called Changing Families. It sounds like a fantastic course. It doesn't go towards either of my majors so I'm hoping it's at least insightful.
The ally panel is tomorrow (!!) and I'm soo nervous and anxious and excited. I'm Rachel to my friends, but I don't know everyone who is going to be at the panel. I want to be Rachel to them, I don't want to be anything that they perceive about me from what is said at the panel. I'm just Rachel. The panel is necessary, a lot of people don't have anyone to put a face to when it comes to GLBTQ issues. We share the same dorms, the same halls, the same classrooms, the table in the cafeteria. I just want everyone to see that our differences make us the same. We're not all the same person, even straight people aren't the same. But we all love, and that's what brings us together.
They'll name a city after us
And later say it's all our fault
Then they'll give us a talking to
Then they'll give us a talking to
Because they've got years of experience
The speaker was so intense though. She's a sociology professor who specialises in abuse survivors and abusers. She gave us lots of web sites to help others or help ourselves, including RAINN, of which I am a big supporter. RAINN does wonderful work.
Abuse is everywhere and it effects so many lives. Both sets of my parents' parents came from very abusive relationships. My father's parents were terribly abusive to one and other, and psychologically abusive to their three sons. My mother's father constantly abused his wife (my grandmother) and his only son and psychologically abused his five daughters. He died of a heart attack when my mother was fifteen. My grandmother, as a result of his abuse, has had several strokes.
Neither of my parents every abused each other or me. They broke the cycle with themselves. But it's not okay to live with abuse. My grandparents shouldn't have had to deal with that behaviour, and neither should my mother and father, or my aunts or uncles. It is a serious problem and it needs to be stopped. It was interesting looking at it from a sociological perspective, though. What makes people become abusers, etc.
This issue is very personal to me for a variety of reasons which I don't want to bring up, which made the banquet a little more than uncomfortable. I hope I didn't give the speaker the wrong impression, I really wasn't bored at all and I was paying attention but there is a fine line between looking thoroughly bored and trying to not be ill. It's difficult to describe what was discussed at the banquet to people who were not there, so just take my word for it, it was intense.
I'm actually taking a class with the woman who spoke tonight next semester, called Changing Families. It sounds like a fantastic course. It doesn't go towards either of my majors so I'm hoping it's at least insightful.
The ally panel is tomorrow (!!) and I'm soo nervous and anxious and excited. I'm Rachel to my friends, but I don't know everyone who is going to be at the panel. I want to be Rachel to them, I don't want to be anything that they perceive about me from what is said at the panel. I'm just Rachel. The panel is necessary, a lot of people don't have anyone to put a face to when it comes to GLBTQ issues. We share the same dorms, the same halls, the same classrooms, the table in the cafeteria. I just want everyone to see that our differences make us the same. We're not all the same person, even straight people aren't the same. But we all love, and that's what brings us together.
They'll name a city after us
And later say it's all our fault
Then they'll give us a talking to
Then they'll give us a talking to
Because they've got years of experience
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Looking Out for a Sunny Day
I'm pretty excited about the Ally Panel coming up this Thursday. I opted not to do it last year because my RD walked up to me one day and said "So I hear you're a lesbian, would you be on our ally panel?" and really caught me off guard.
So this year, with the newly formed GSA, which I slave over daily for hours generally, the executive board of the GSA is more or less running the show. This is our first big campus event and I'm really excited. I hope it goes off without a hitch. I'm not anticipating anything happening between now and Thursday that would impede the panel, and the rules are really clear that if you're going to be an ass you should go elsewhere. But people can be asses, and someone will in all likelihood say something that shouldn't be said (at a catholic school, in a college setting, in front of peers, in public, etc. etc.).
I'm so busy lately that it's not even funny. All the free time I have consists of the time in between classes. Yesterday I got out of class at 3:15, had a meeting at 3:30, had to work at a blood drive (which I still don't know how I got roped in to, since I have been known to faint at the sight of blood, but fortunately I was only working the "canteen" and making sure the donors didn't pass out) until 6:30, had dinner and went to the gym for an hour, then had a GSA meeting. Well I mean, I did go to IHop at midnight, but who is trolling around Boston suburbs at midnight and later?
There are a few girls who I really want to go out with sometime but how on earth am I supposed to be like "hey, want to get a coffee sometime?" when I don't have a minute free? I feel like I'd have to give her my entire schedule and say "pick a time slot," which would be so douchey. I feel bad because my lack of flexibility is making it slightly impossible to have a life, and as much as I hate to say it, school/clubs/work are my life right now. But I feel like it shouldn't be that way, because I'm nineteen. I REALLY love my life and I'm having a great time, but I'd like to have enough time to take a chick out if I wanted to, or even go see a movie with my friends, or, you know, do all of my work and get it done instead of staying up until 3 am every night working my ass off. If this is how it is when I'm nineteen, how is it going to be when I'm twenty-two? Twenty-eight? Thirty-five? Fifty? What is my life going to be like? Am I just setting myself up? I have really high hopes for myself and what I can accomplish, but is it at the expense of all the other things I want and expect out of life?
It's hard to think about the future when you're so scared that it's going to be exactly the same as the present. But everything will be okay. Everything is always okay.
So this year, with the newly formed GSA, which I slave over daily for hours generally, the executive board of the GSA is more or less running the show. This is our first big campus event and I'm really excited. I hope it goes off without a hitch. I'm not anticipating anything happening between now and Thursday that would impede the panel, and the rules are really clear that if you're going to be an ass you should go elsewhere. But people can be asses, and someone will in all likelihood say something that shouldn't be said (at a catholic school, in a college setting, in front of peers, in public, etc. etc.).
I'm so busy lately that it's not even funny. All the free time I have consists of the time in between classes. Yesterday I got out of class at 3:15, had a meeting at 3:30, had to work at a blood drive (which I still don't know how I got roped in to, since I have been known to faint at the sight of blood, but fortunately I was only working the "canteen" and making sure the donors didn't pass out) until 6:30, had dinner and went to the gym for an hour, then had a GSA meeting. Well I mean, I did go to IHop at midnight, but who is trolling around Boston suburbs at midnight and later?
There are a few girls who I really want to go out with sometime but how on earth am I supposed to be like "hey, want to get a coffee sometime?" when I don't have a minute free? I feel like I'd have to give her my entire schedule and say "pick a time slot," which would be so douchey. I feel bad because my lack of flexibility is making it slightly impossible to have a life, and as much as I hate to say it, school/clubs/work are my life right now. But I feel like it shouldn't be that way, because I'm nineteen. I REALLY love my life and I'm having a great time, but I'd like to have enough time to take a chick out if I wanted to, or even go see a movie with my friends, or, you know, do all of my work and get it done instead of staying up until 3 am every night working my ass off. If this is how it is when I'm nineteen, how is it going to be when I'm twenty-two? Twenty-eight? Thirty-five? Fifty? What is my life going to be like? Am I just setting myself up? I have really high hopes for myself and what I can accomplish, but is it at the expense of all the other things I want and expect out of life?
It's hard to think about the future when you're so scared that it's going to be exactly the same as the present. But everything will be okay. Everything is always okay.
Monday, October 20, 2008
What If No One's Watching
THE GAY STRAIGHT ALLIANCE WAS APPROVED!! I was soooo nervous and excited and anxious when I was talking to the student government association. It's really hard to get up in front of your peers and try to convince them of something, anything.
I am very relieved, however, that it was terribly obvious that the students who got to vote on our approval as an official club saw the necessity of this organisation.
I basically told them how it is: there is an incredibly diverse population at our college, and if your ethnic group wants a club it is more than likely that one already exists. But historically, the gay population at this college hasn't been so much swept under the rug, but it has simply gone unnoticed by the faculty and staff. It is so important to have an outlet if you're struggling, to know that there are people out there who have gone through what you're going through, to know that there are people who will listen and who will care about you no matter who you are. (I will say, though, that my college has NEVER made me feel like I am unwelcome because of my sexual orientation, in fact quite the opposite. I know how hard it is to come out, though, and coming out for me wasn't even all that hard when I think about it. I know there are kids out there who need more support than what I got, which was simply an 'okay you be you and I'll be me and that's how it's going to be.')
So tonight is the first meeting of the GSA and the whole E-Board (which basically consists of the lacrosse team and two of our best non-Team Awesome friends) is so pumped. We've been discussing events we could host, and at this point we've got a drag show in the works and a big movie night. The drag show is going to be epic, and we're planning on having a cover charge and sending the proceeds to charity. The movie night will just be awesome because who doesn't love But I'm a Cheerleader and Imagine Me and You? And Philidelphia, but that's sad.
My Child Development professor asked me to see her after class today, which is always scary, so I went and talked to her and she was all excited about something I wrote for a "major assignment." She's sharing it with the rest of the psych department and she says my "critical thinking abilities are incredible for a sophomore psych major." I thanked her very much for her compliments and told her I think it comes with the territory, being an English and Psych double major, but I am still very flattered.
My roommate is basically going to kill me if I don't ask this girl out. She (my roommate) thinks I'm silly for not having done so already, and she doesn't really understand it, and I don't really know how to explain it. I'm a very independent person and I like having my own free space and time, and being in a relationship really cuts one's autonomy down. And, I don't need to be with someone to be happy. My friends make me happy, my classes make me happy, going to parties makes me happy, writing and reading and diving into leaf piles and thinking and watching movies and laughing. I'm just a generally happy person, why change a good thing?
But I do really like this girl, and I would like to ask her out, but I need to scope out the situation a little more first. Allyson (my roommate) is the straightest girl I ever met, and she doesn't understand that if I ask this girl out and she isn't ready to be out yet, or to know that it's obvious to the rest of the world that she's gay, she might be horrified or resent me, which would make me feel terrible and ruin any chance I had with her in the first place. Al did make a good point though when she said "we're not telepathic" which is true, I guess. I dunno, I could be telepathic if I tried hard enough. :-P
More like telepathetic.
So it's been a great couple of days here in the life of Rachel :-D now I just need to finish my research methods work and I can get to sleep tonight.
I am very relieved, however, that it was terribly obvious that the students who got to vote on our approval as an official club saw the necessity of this organisation.
I basically told them how it is: there is an incredibly diverse population at our college, and if your ethnic group wants a club it is more than likely that one already exists. But historically, the gay population at this college hasn't been so much swept under the rug, but it has simply gone unnoticed by the faculty and staff. It is so important to have an outlet if you're struggling, to know that there are people out there who have gone through what you're going through, to know that there are people who will listen and who will care about you no matter who you are. (I will say, though, that my college has NEVER made me feel like I am unwelcome because of my sexual orientation, in fact quite the opposite. I know how hard it is to come out, though, and coming out for me wasn't even all that hard when I think about it. I know there are kids out there who need more support than what I got, which was simply an 'okay you be you and I'll be me and that's how it's going to be.')
So tonight is the first meeting of the GSA and the whole E-Board (which basically consists of the lacrosse team and two of our best non-Team Awesome friends) is so pumped. We've been discussing events we could host, and at this point we've got a drag show in the works and a big movie night. The drag show is going to be epic, and we're planning on having a cover charge and sending the proceeds to charity. The movie night will just be awesome because who doesn't love But I'm a Cheerleader and Imagine Me and You? And Philidelphia, but that's sad.
My Child Development professor asked me to see her after class today, which is always scary, so I went and talked to her and she was all excited about something I wrote for a "major assignment." She's sharing it with the rest of the psych department and she says my "critical thinking abilities are incredible for a sophomore psych major." I thanked her very much for her compliments and told her I think it comes with the territory, being an English and Psych double major, but I am still very flattered.
My roommate is basically going to kill me if I don't ask this girl out. She (my roommate) thinks I'm silly for not having done so already, and she doesn't really understand it, and I don't really know how to explain it. I'm a very independent person and I like having my own free space and time, and being in a relationship really cuts one's autonomy down. And, I don't need to be with someone to be happy. My friends make me happy, my classes make me happy, going to parties makes me happy, writing and reading and diving into leaf piles and thinking and watching movies and laughing. I'm just a generally happy person, why change a good thing?
But I do really like this girl, and I would like to ask her out, but I need to scope out the situation a little more first. Allyson (my roommate) is the straightest girl I ever met, and she doesn't understand that if I ask this girl out and she isn't ready to be out yet, or to know that it's obvious to the rest of the world that she's gay, she might be horrified or resent me, which would make me feel terrible and ruin any chance I had with her in the first place. Al did make a good point though when she said "we're not telepathic" which is true, I guess. I dunno, I could be telepathic if I tried hard enough. :-P
More like telepathetic.
So it's been a great couple of days here in the life of Rachel :-D now I just need to finish my research methods work and I can get to sleep tonight.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
No Bigots Were Harmed in the Making of this Blog
After the little escapade of Friday night, the weekend went very well.
I went to Ptown on Saturday with the Madre and her friend from work. There is just something about that place that is so... right. It's just so right. It's sad that I won't be able to get back out there until the Spring, but I'm so glad I discovered it. Best discovery ever.
I have the meeting with the student government association today to talk about the GSA and very hopefully get approval. Wish me luck!
I went to Ptown on Saturday with the Madre and her friend from work. There is just something about that place that is so... right. It's just so right. It's sad that I won't be able to get back out there until the Spring, but I'm so glad I discovered it. Best discovery ever.
I have the meeting with the student government association today to talk about the GSA and very hopefully get approval. Wish me luck!
Monday, September 29, 2008
In Case I Didn't Ramble Enough About the GSA
I have to study for an exam in my research methods class, but I'm doing everything in my power to procrastinate. So here I am.
Apparently I have an exam in research methods tomorrow, and two exams on Wednesday (one in statistics and the other in child development). All courses I need to take in order to remain a psych major. Which means I'm kicking myself for not being a carefree English major. I can talk Shakespeare until I'm blue in the face, but all this analytic nonsense is... well... analytic nonsense. I'll do fine though, because I am genuinely interested in the subjects (for the most part... the intricacies of the APA Ethical Code are only so interesting though... but I definitely understand the necessity in it).
I have a meeting of the executive board of the GSA in an hour, which will kill more study time. And then I have to stand guard in the lower student union from 9-midnight in the event that anyone from campus wants a board game or to watch movies on the big screen. But I'll be doing homework that entire time, so it will at least be semi productive.
I got another email expressing interest in the GSA today from a girl I've seen around campus, who I know is painfully not out. I was actually really thrilled that it was from her because I am starting this club with the hope that the GSA will be a safe environment for people coming to terms with their sexuality. I know how hard it is when you're so sure of who you are, but you can't bear to face the reactions of others. This club certainly isn't about outing people, either. I would never out someone, particularly when it is painfully obvious that they aren't ready to be out. But it's so sad to watch. I remember coming to college, already out to several of my closest friends, already completely sure of who I am. I thought I totally accepted myself, and that everyone else would too. Unfortunately, I felt like I couldn't be out at school, and so I didn't tell anyone, until it all reached its boiling point and I had to be out. I don't want that to happen to anyone else, though I know it happens all the time. I want this school to let everyone know that it is okay to be who you are, and that everyone will be appreciated no matter what, which is how I feel now. But it's how I should have felt as an incoming freshman. I guess the long and short of it is I'm trying to spare the freshman some of the tribulations I went though. But I understand that we all need to make our own mistakes, no one else can make them for us, unfortunately.
In any event I'm totally excited about the GSA, in case it's not obvious. Totally not excited at all about three exams in the next two days, but it'll be okay. Everything is always okay.
Apparently I have an exam in research methods tomorrow, and two exams on Wednesday (one in statistics and the other in child development). All courses I need to take in order to remain a psych major. Which means I'm kicking myself for not being a carefree English major. I can talk Shakespeare until I'm blue in the face, but all this analytic nonsense is... well... analytic nonsense. I'll do fine though, because I am genuinely interested in the subjects (for the most part... the intricacies of the APA Ethical Code are only so interesting though... but I definitely understand the necessity in it).
I have a meeting of the executive board of the GSA in an hour, which will kill more study time. And then I have to stand guard in the lower student union from 9-midnight in the event that anyone from campus wants a board game or to watch movies on the big screen. But I'll be doing homework that entire time, so it will at least be semi productive.
I got another email expressing interest in the GSA today from a girl I've seen around campus, who I know is painfully not out. I was actually really thrilled that it was from her because I am starting this club with the hope that the GSA will be a safe environment for people coming to terms with their sexuality. I know how hard it is when you're so sure of who you are, but you can't bear to face the reactions of others. This club certainly isn't about outing people, either. I would never out someone, particularly when it is painfully obvious that they aren't ready to be out. But it's so sad to watch. I remember coming to college, already out to several of my closest friends, already completely sure of who I am. I thought I totally accepted myself, and that everyone else would too. Unfortunately, I felt like I couldn't be out at school, and so I didn't tell anyone, until it all reached its boiling point and I had to be out. I don't want that to happen to anyone else, though I know it happens all the time. I want this school to let everyone know that it is okay to be who you are, and that everyone will be appreciated no matter what, which is how I feel now. But it's how I should have felt as an incoming freshman. I guess the long and short of it is I'm trying to spare the freshman some of the tribulations I went though. But I understand that we all need to make our own mistakes, no one else can make them for us, unfortunately.
In any event I'm totally excited about the GSA, in case it's not obvious. Totally not excited at all about three exams in the next two days, but it'll be okay. Everything is always okay.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Ironic Spontaneity Rant Extraordinaire
It seems funny to me that nothing is ever spontaneous in my life. Everything is always planned well in advance, there are no mysteries. I couldn't even come out to my mother spontaneously, I had to carefully plan out not only what I was going to say to her but also all of the potential responses she would have and my reaction(s). I guess it's true, we do turn into our parents. There is no one more overly-analytical than my mother, except for me.
That being said I'm pretty freakin excited about going into Boston to see some small town band play this coming Friday, it should be a great time. And then Saturday is... TEGAN AND SARA! I have been DYING of anticipation all summer for this concert. I will probably faint and cry like a little school girl.
And the following weekend is Canadian Thanksgiving so the madre and I are trekking up to the great white north for family time and home cooked meals mmmm. There is honestly nowhere in the world that I love more than Newfoundland. It's just a brilliant place, beyond gorgeous. It's usually not too cold this time of year, which is good because I'm more of a Florida girl. But Florida doesn't have scenery like this:
or this:
I'm pretty excited about the "upcoming events," if you will.
I was asked to be on the student athlete advisory committee here at school, (the acronym is SAAC, which makes me gafaw every time) which is just another thing to add to my already outrageous schedule. But somehow I am ahead in my work, and currently working on Thursday's assignments... Busting my ass to get stuff done last night was super successful and very productive.
And people are so so so interested in the GSA, which is great and I'm so glad. I was talking to the madre about it yesterday, and I told her I was kind of wary in telling her that I was starting a GSA here. She said I need to trust her, that she is fine with it and I need to cut her a break. She's not going to freak out because she is totally fine with the fact that I am and have always been gay. She's not shocked that I'm gay, she is shocked that I kept it from her.
I guess maybe I'm the one having difficulties here in that, I've known I was gay for so long and I've kept it hidden from her for so long that it is hard for me to be honest with her and to let her into my life. Which is really sad, but I think it's the truth. I can't call her up on the phone and tell her all about the girl I like or what my crazy ex girlfriend did this time or how much it hurts when people say cruel things like "just move to Canada" or when I find out that I am distinguished by my out-ness and not by my personality as a human being.
I think that's the scariest part of being gay and of being out. It's a toss up whether people are going to recognise you for what you contribute to their lives by virtue of your human-ness, or if they are going to see everything you do, everything you are, everything you will potentially do, as being directly influenced by your being gay. Maybe it's just an age thing, maybe college students still haven't gotten a grasp on the fact that very few things are a result of your orientation, your gender, your race, your ethnicity.
I'm starting the GSA at school because I want there to be a safe environment for gay students, supportive students, bi student, trans students, etc. etc. It's too scary to be thrust into college, just when you're starting to be comfortable with who you are. There need to be people here who are approachable and friendly and understanding who have been through it, who know what it's like, and who will listen. We need to do things that prove that we're not just "different," we're fun, active, adventurous, talented, goofy and always learning too. I'm gay, but that's not all there is to me. When people see me walking down the road or sitting in the library or eating lunch with my friends I want them to know I'm not just the gay chick, I'm Rachel, I play lacrosse for Team Awesome, I save frogs and worms when it rains, I love the violin, I try to be insightful in class but often fail miserably, but I'm always smiling, and I have the best movie collection on campus.
I didn't begin writing this for it to turn into a rant about the GSA or about my feelings on out-ness, but I guess that's what it turned in to. C'est la vie. Happy new week, hope it's great all around!
That being said I'm pretty freakin excited about going into Boston to see some small town band play this coming Friday, it should be a great time. And then Saturday is... TEGAN AND SARA! I have been DYING of anticipation all summer for this concert. I will probably faint and cry like a little school girl.
And the following weekend is Canadian Thanksgiving so the madre and I are trekking up to the great white north for family time and home cooked meals mmmm. There is honestly nowhere in the world that I love more than Newfoundland. It's just a brilliant place, beyond gorgeous. It's usually not too cold this time of year, which is good because I'm more of a Florida girl. But Florida doesn't have scenery like this:
or this:
I'm pretty excited about the "upcoming events," if you will.
I was asked to be on the student athlete advisory committee here at school, (the acronym is SAAC, which makes me gafaw every time) which is just another thing to add to my already outrageous schedule. But somehow I am ahead in my work, and currently working on Thursday's assignments... Busting my ass to get stuff done last night was super successful and very productive.
And people are so so so interested in the GSA, which is great and I'm so glad. I was talking to the madre about it yesterday, and I told her I was kind of wary in telling her that I was starting a GSA here. She said I need to trust her, that she is fine with it and I need to cut her a break. She's not going to freak out because she is totally fine with the fact that I am and have always been gay. She's not shocked that I'm gay, she is shocked that I kept it from her.
I guess maybe I'm the one having difficulties here in that, I've known I was gay for so long and I've kept it hidden from her for so long that it is hard for me to be honest with her and to let her into my life. Which is really sad, but I think it's the truth. I can't call her up on the phone and tell her all about the girl I like or what my crazy ex girlfriend did this time or how much it hurts when people say cruel things like "just move to Canada" or when I find out that I am distinguished by my out-ness and not by my personality as a human being.
I think that's the scariest part of being gay and of being out. It's a toss up whether people are going to recognise you for what you contribute to their lives by virtue of your human-ness, or if they are going to see everything you do, everything you are, everything you will potentially do, as being directly influenced by your being gay. Maybe it's just an age thing, maybe college students still haven't gotten a grasp on the fact that very few things are a result of your orientation, your gender, your race, your ethnicity.
I'm starting the GSA at school because I want there to be a safe environment for gay students, supportive students, bi student, trans students, etc. etc. It's too scary to be thrust into college, just when you're starting to be comfortable with who you are. There need to be people here who are approachable and friendly and understanding who have been through it, who know what it's like, and who will listen. We need to do things that prove that we're not just "different," we're fun, active, adventurous, talented, goofy and always learning too. I'm gay, but that's not all there is to me. When people see me walking down the road or sitting in the library or eating lunch with my friends I want them to know I'm not just the gay chick, I'm Rachel, I play lacrosse for Team Awesome, I save frogs and worms when it rains, I love the violin, I try to be insightful in class but often fail miserably, but I'm always smiling, and I have the best movie collection on campus.
I didn't begin writing this for it to turn into a rant about the GSA or about my feelings on out-ness, but I guess that's what it turned in to. C'est la vie. Happy new week, hope it's great all around!
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
The Goings On of the World of Rachel
I start making money is just under 20 minutes! This is my only break of the day... I'll be back at 9 to weep over text books and possibly through in a Disney movie to make me feel better about the chaos of my life. But I'm having fun and leeeaarrning.
Anywho, so I'm starting a gsa here at good old *my college* basically singlehandedly. The assistant director of student activities send out a mass email to all undergraduates telling all interested students to please contact me. It basically said "If you're interested in being a part of the gay-straight alliance on campus please contact Rachel *lastname*." I came back to my room last night to my roommate in a fit of giggles over how I had been outed to the entire campus, and some mortification from my other friends who thought I might have been offended by this. I don't mind, in fact I asked her to send out that email because we need interested people. I only know so many people, many of whom are not interested in this club for various reasons, and because I don't know everyone I don't know who is and who is not interested. So far I've gotten four responses from people I don't know, and more than 10 from my friends (I love them all dearly because they are mostly joining the club to support me, which gives me the warm fuzzies).
I have to head to work now but I am oh so very excited about the gsa. I just need to come up with activities/events that will be fun and all enclusive. We can't have a big gay get-together because then 3 people would show up, not including all my straight friends who would go to support me (bless their hearts).
And I'm excited about making money and babysitting the children tonight. Ack my life is crazy, but fantastic!
Anywho, so I'm starting a gsa here at good old *my college* basically singlehandedly. The assistant director of student activities send out a mass email to all undergraduates telling all interested students to please contact me. It basically said "If you're interested in being a part of the gay-straight alliance on campus please contact Rachel *lastname*." I came back to my room last night to my roommate in a fit of giggles over how I had been outed to the entire campus, and some mortification from my other friends who thought I might have been offended by this. I don't mind, in fact I asked her to send out that email because we need interested people. I only know so many people, many of whom are not interested in this club for various reasons, and because I don't know everyone I don't know who is and who is not interested. So far I've gotten four responses from people I don't know, and more than 10 from my friends (I love them all dearly because they are mostly joining the club to support me, which gives me the warm fuzzies).
I have to head to work now but I am oh so very excited about the gsa. I just need to come up with activities/events that will be fun and all enclusive. We can't have a big gay get-together because then 3 people would show up, not including all my straight friends who would go to support me (bless their hearts).
And I'm excited about making money and babysitting the children tonight. Ack my life is crazy, but fantastic!
Friday, September 19, 2008
How Do I Get Myself In Situations Like This?
Yesterday was kind of a crazy day. I had class from 9:30 until 3:00, with about an hour lunch break between my research methods class and the lab. We had to come up with ideas for a research study, one that we are actually going to conduct. My thesis at this point is that individuals with the perception that they have a strong support system (either from family, society or both) are better able to cope with stress. I'm still working out the kinks but it'm pretty pleased with it, and I found a meta-analysis that is REALLY going to help me out (I almost did a backflip when I discovered it).
Anywho, after research methods and that craziness I went to this woman to talk about studying abroad in the fall of 2009. I'm hoping to study in London, that way I can go all over Europe on weekends and holidays. I really want to study in Italy, but I'll get there if I study in London. I just want to go all over the place, see the world. And it looks like it's actually going to happen!
I was practically doing cartwheels down the hall when I remembered I had to go talk to the activities director. She was my RD last year, and we have a pretty good relationship, so I went to her office and we got to chatting. I was there to ask her if our orchestra (of about 6 people) could play in the tavern some night, since she is in charge of the schedule of activities. She said sure thing, and proceeded to print off the calender for the next three months.
We were chatting while she was printing off the schedule, and I all of a sudden burst off with "Hey, you know what we need here, a GSA!"
I go to a very small Catholic college, complete with nuns and priests and the whole shebang, so I didn't expect my notion to come to fruition.
Until she said "You just made my day!" and she started typing away. "I've been waiting for someone to volunteer themselves to start a GSA FOREVER!"
I wasn't aware I had volunteered myself, but I mean it's cool and all, I'll parent this new club if nobody else will. No lie at all, she was so excited about the fact that I was interested in a GSA that she emailed about a million people, asking them how to go about starting a new club and to get back to ME. I have to write a constitution for the club, go in frot of the student activities panel BY MYSELF and tell them why I want to start this club, how much money I will need, what I plan to do, how I plan to bring back to the community, etc. I need to get names and signitures and people interested in the club. So far I have lots of S's and a few G's who say they will join. I think I need ten people to be official and to get money, etc. But I definitely had no concept of what I was getting myself into. We really do need a GSA though, and I'm more than happy to be the person to start it, I just had no idea that I would be thrust into this position.
So during our, oh probably 45 minute conversation, I was nominated president and parent of the new GSA, the student activities director emailed one of the sisters and told her I am going to join Campus Ministry, I basically was talked into getting an Environmental Club started on campus (because I opened my big mouth and told her I had been president of the environmental club in high school), I was given a phone number to a local philharmonic orchestra that is looking for musicians, I join the activity board for my school (the people who plan everything that goes on around campus) and I got the calender for the next three months so we can decide when we want to play in the tavern (the only reason I went there in the first place).
And I'm double majoring, taking 20 credits this semester, playing lacrosse, planning on studying abroad next fall, trying to get into a seminar next semester that will consume most of my life/go to Italy on spring break. I realised the other day that with my majors, I need three seminars for my English major and I think two for my Psychology major. I'm also in the honors program, which has its own seminar I believe (maybe two seminars, I'm not sure), not to mention community service components and other requirements.
I also got an on campus job the other day tutoring people in writing for five hours a week. Which means I'm making money (albeit not a great deal of money).
And I'm home now, and all I want to do is sleep and forget about the giant mess I am creating for myself to be spread out over the next three years.
But I'm having fun and learning a lot, and that's all that matters right?
Oh and I did something to a muscle (the same muscle) in both of my legs last night at the gym. I don't know what I did or if there is even a name for it, but it hurts, and I'm a fool. Note to self: the hot girl at the gym doesn't care if you can (or in my case, can't) lift a shitload of weight on the leg press. I feel like subconsciously, I am aware of the fact that A LOT of people at my school are nursing majors, and overdoing it at the gym isn't so much masochistic as it is my mind intentionally trying to hurt my body so I have to lay around while the nursing majors take care of me. If only things worked in the real world the way they work in my mind :D
Anywho, after research methods and that craziness I went to this woman to talk about studying abroad in the fall of 2009. I'm hoping to study in London, that way I can go all over Europe on weekends and holidays. I really want to study in Italy, but I'll get there if I study in London. I just want to go all over the place, see the world. And it looks like it's actually going to happen!
I was practically doing cartwheels down the hall when I remembered I had to go talk to the activities director. She was my RD last year, and we have a pretty good relationship, so I went to her office and we got to chatting. I was there to ask her if our orchestra (of about 6 people) could play in the tavern some night, since she is in charge of the schedule of activities. She said sure thing, and proceeded to print off the calender for the next three months.
We were chatting while she was printing off the schedule, and I all of a sudden burst off with "Hey, you know what we need here, a GSA!"
I go to a very small Catholic college, complete with nuns and priests and the whole shebang, so I didn't expect my notion to come to fruition.
Until she said "You just made my day!" and she started typing away. "I've been waiting for someone to volunteer themselves to start a GSA FOREVER!"
I wasn't aware I had volunteered myself, but I mean it's cool and all, I'll parent this new club if nobody else will. No lie at all, she was so excited about the fact that I was interested in a GSA that she emailed about a million people, asking them how to go about starting a new club and to get back to ME. I have to write a constitution for the club, go in frot of the student activities panel BY MYSELF and tell them why I want to start this club, how much money I will need, what I plan to do, how I plan to bring back to the community, etc. I need to get names and signitures and people interested in the club. So far I have lots of S's and a few G's who say they will join. I think I need ten people to be official and to get money, etc. But I definitely had no concept of what I was getting myself into. We really do need a GSA though, and I'm more than happy to be the person to start it, I just had no idea that I would be thrust into this position.
So during our, oh probably 45 minute conversation, I was nominated president and parent of the new GSA, the student activities director emailed one of the sisters and told her I am going to join Campus Ministry, I basically was talked into getting an Environmental Club started on campus (because I opened my big mouth and told her I had been president of the environmental club in high school), I was given a phone number to a local philharmonic orchestra that is looking for musicians, I join the activity board for my school (the people who plan everything that goes on around campus) and I got the calender for the next three months so we can decide when we want to play in the tavern (the only reason I went there in the first place).
And I'm double majoring, taking 20 credits this semester, playing lacrosse, planning on studying abroad next fall, trying to get into a seminar next semester that will consume most of my life/go to Italy on spring break. I realised the other day that with my majors, I need three seminars for my English major and I think two for my Psychology major. I'm also in the honors program, which has its own seminar I believe (maybe two seminars, I'm not sure), not to mention community service components and other requirements.
I also got an on campus job the other day tutoring people in writing for five hours a week. Which means I'm making money (albeit not a great deal of money).
And I'm home now, and all I want to do is sleep and forget about the giant mess I am creating for myself to be spread out over the next three years.
But I'm having fun and learning a lot, and that's all that matters right?
Oh and I did something to a muscle (the same muscle) in both of my legs last night at the gym. I don't know what I did or if there is even a name for it, but it hurts, and I'm a fool. Note to self: the hot girl at the gym doesn't care if you can (or in my case, can't) lift a shitload of weight on the leg press. I feel like subconsciously, I am aware of the fact that A LOT of people at my school are nursing majors, and overdoing it at the gym isn't so much masochistic as it is my mind intentionally trying to hurt my body so I have to lay around while the nursing majors take care of me. If only things worked in the real world the way they work in my mind :D
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