Bette Davis

I met my lacrosse coach today, and he's actually a really nice guy. We had a table at the "club fair" aka mosey through if you want, and be rude to the people who are whoring their clubs to you, but it was actually fun. We got a few girls interested in it, and there are more coming. It should be a successful season. We play this Friday at 2 pm, and I am SO EXCITED! I haven't played since June, so I'll probably be pretty bad, but I'm super excited because there are boys playing too, which means we can hit each other and stuff. I AM SO EXCITED! I knock people around in girls lax, but if a ref sees me it's trouble. The boys, per usual, get to have all the fun.

I also went to instrumental tonight, and played my violin for the first time in four months. My wrist is killing me right now but otherwise it feels wonderful to be making music again. I tore a ligament in my left wrist last year and it acts up every now and then, particularly when I play my instruments. The violin isn't very conducive to having your wrist resting in a natural position.

The visit with the madre went very well. We went to the macaroni grill, and I didn't eat for a day afterwards because I was still full (the woman knows how to feed me). We also discussed my getting another tattoo.

She was with me when I got my first tattoo, and completely supported it. I have a treble-clef on my mid-upper back in the centre, as a memorial to my music teacher who died during my senior year in high school. It seemed inappropriate that I got a memorial tattoo to my music teacher (who I love dearly and who changed my life) but not to my father. I think it was a lot easier to come up with a meaningful tattoo idea for George, but it's difficult to find the perfect one for Daddy.

So I discussed it with the madre, and she thinks it's brilliant. She suggested a hummingbird, a butterfly, and a rainbow. So I'm going to try to incorporate those things together? Somehow? I don't really like the idea of a hummingbird or a butterfly cause those things are too girly, but Daddy was fond of hummingbirds.

She suggested a rainbow because my father's best friend was gay and died of AIDS (something she neglected to tell me until Sunday), and, her exact words "Daddy was sympathetic towards gay people." I think a rainbow tattoo is brilliant, but I'm not sure it's what I want. I would love and will at some point in time get a rainbow tattoo, but right now I am focusing on getting something to memorialise my father for me, and nothing else. I looked for some ideas online and I found one where there is the Earth surrounded by a rainbow going out, kind of like sun rays, which I think is really cool. I was thinking that, for my father, I could get a standard peace sign in the middle with a rainbow going out (effectively killing two birds with one stone, which is what I kind of wanted to avoid). I want people to see my new tattoo and know I got it for my father, and I am afraid that if I get a rainbow tattoo they won't think that. But I don't want to get a heart with "Daddy" in it. It has to be meaningful. I'm still playing with the idea, but I go home for Molly's NINETEEN BIRTHDAY! on September 21, which is when I was planning on getting the tattoo. But these things can't be rushed.

I'm watching All About Eve and LOLing at Bette Davis, she's such a loon. She's too serious about everything in such a not-at-all serious kind of way. I'm pretty envious of the ability to be serious/but not at the same time, everyone either thinks I'm completely insane and always running in circles like a deranged person or I'm overly serious. There has to be an even medium, but I don't think there is with me.

I've got so much going through my head right now that it's craziness. And I should be reading Phillis Wheatley, and although I think her poetry is astonishing, I have had no time to myself at all today. This is my first free moment. God.

I see myself going crazy and or never sleeping and or both in the very near future. Perhaps tonight? We'll see.

The Harvey Milk movie looks fabulous, can't wait to see it.

I need to read, but I'd rather be running around outside in the puddles. Gahh!!